Happy Blurry Esme

Thoughtful? She stares at her frog on the mobile like this a lot.

Happy!

Mark's Canadian friend Meow pointed out I haven't had an Esme picture in a week or so ;) Here you go! She is very wiggly, but I managed to catch a bit of a smile!

Esme also has a lot of dry skin or cradle cap coming off of the back of her head right now. She looks like she has dandruff all of the time, poor kid! Her cold isn't getting any worse, maybe somewhat better but she is still 'snorting', especially in the mornings.

A Few Developments

We've had a few developments around here, but not much.


Goofy, one of the girl puppies, went to a home.
We hope it is a good one.


Another picture of Esme, looking mischevious
she has begun to make the cutest noises and gurgles
9 lbs, 14.5 oz

We received some more assorted used inventory for our store in, and I'm going through the actions of getting pictures taken, descriptions written etc... I'm also throwing a few random items in my Etsy store every once in a while. We are trying to sell off some scrap metal that has been lying around the yard for years. We've been looking at parcels of land via internet around the areas we were interested in - but nothing to make us jump yet. The main problem is most of the places to rent don't allow smoking or pets, and we don't want to leave any of the dogs behind if we don't have to.

Elizabeth is doing well - and they have moved her up from an eyedropper to a bottle. Wow, to be so tiny you can't drink out of a bottle! Modern medicine really has done a lot to help premature babies who would never have survived before due to problems as simple as getting enough to eat.

We're not planning anything major for Christmas, as this is really our time to start organizing for whatever we are going to do early next year. It will be Esme's first Christmas but I think she is very happy with all of the love and care she gets and wouldn't know what to do with even the wrapping paper ;) She does enjoy looking at colored lights though, and Mark's parents gave him a little red/blue/green LED 'lava lamp' that she has enjoyed staring at several times.

Mark did splurge and got the latest Harry Potter movie 'Order of the Phoenix', which we will probably get to this weekend.

//off to describe modems, adapters and connectors. Have a great weekend!

Esme at one month

First off: Happy Birthday Mark! He is very glad to be home and is thinking of writing up a narrative of his trip. There are a few places he was interested enough in to go back to for a more detailed look. He is really happy to be home and 'no longer rolling' constantly.


Esme at one month
9 lbs, 12 oz.
She can grab my necklace, hair and things off the side of the bassinet now, like when I'm changing her diaper and put a blanket or piece of clothing up there for a moment. She can lift her head up for short periods of time while laying tummy-to-tummy but has a harder time on a flat surface. I think she has begun to recognize both us and the dogs and makes little happy 'Ah' noises sometimes when we come into view.


Pogo among the shipping supplies

Pogo continues to be a great help in the shipping department of our little online store.

Dentist appointment

I had a dentist appointment today, which meant leaving Esme with Grandpa and Grandma, as Daddy was meeting with an old family friend at his store in another city. I was in a rush just to get to the dentist on time -- and barely did make it.

About ten minutes after I had left Esme with Grandma I was already missing her -- and had to call on them just to hear about her before my appointment. The dentist office staff have been following along on the blog here and there so they already knew about her and I brought pictures for the lady who doesn't have a computer :) It turned out the pictures were kind of for me too, since I was missing Esme I stared at them in the waiting room until everything was ready to go into the dentist's chair.

I was thinking I had a bad cavity on one side - but apparently it was several small cavities that could be sealed before they got deep enough for a filling - so, no novacaine! yay! They did do a thorough cleaning though, and after pregnancy hormones gums bleed a LOT, and boy mine did. So, glad I'm not having a thick lip for the rest of the night and that it wasn't as bad as it felt!

(I do have one other filling they want me to come in for later this month, if we're still here and haven't moved)

This would have been the first time since her second day home Esme would have had a bottle instead of me feeding her. However, she slept almost the entire time at her grandparents -- which was good for them but a product of her keeping me up all night last night. I swear she knows when I'm worried or anxious - she can feel it in my arms, hear it in my voice. She knew I was worried about leaving her, and about getting places on time - so she had a hard time relaxing enough to sleep. Now at home tonight she was fussy after she woke up, but got to eat and is happy again.

In other news: Esme's birth certificate came today - so, does that mean we get to keep her now that she's 'official'? ;) just/kidding! *snuggles Esme tight*

Birth certificates here & now look SO different than mine from Minnesota. I remember the DMV guy here when I changed my license looking all over mine for a number and having to call somebody because it didn't have one. To me, it's weird that this one DOES have a number - and even a barcode. Wow, I find that a bit scary actually!

More on Elizabeth

My mom and the rest of the family got to see the little one in Minnesota this weekend. She is gaining weight - but still can't come home until she is 6 lbs. The nurses have nicknamed her 'Peanut' and she keeps pulling all her wires out, grabbing their fingers when they tend to her and taking off her hat and mittens. She sounds like an active little fighter ;) My brother and SIL haven't gotten to hold her much yet - as she is in that incubator, but I think the way they describe her grabbing at the nurses means she wants some human contact. My mom also said my brother's voice makes her stop in her tracks and look around - she wants to know where that familiar voice, daddy's voice, is coming from.

Esme loves to hear her Daddy's voice as well, and stare at his dark eyebrows and sharp nose. I think she stares harder at him than she does me because his dark hair makes such a contrast. She loves lights too, and will focus on a bright light in the room when she is quiet and happy. As for human contact - besides all of our other mommy and baby time I'm making sure to take a half-hour or an hour here and there (when I can get it) to hold Esme tummy-to-tummy. She watches me for a bit, then curls up like a little frog and goes to sleep very happily.


Esme having 'tummy time' on Daddy last week
She is 1 month old now, and weighs 9 lbs, 7 oz today.

Daddy and Esme

Mark and Esme on Saturday morning

Esme's Day Out

I took Esme to town with me in the truck for the first time. No major events, just bank, gas, co-op and grocery store, but I'm proud of myself. Esme hardly made a peep anywhere, but was awake and playing with her hands at all the stops. Nice test run - I can do this as long as I take everything slow and easy.

Mark's friend 'Meow' from Canada sent a wonderful package for Esme that arrived yesterday :) She sent some onesies, receiving blankets (which are already in use), a 3 piece 'Mommasaurus' set ;) a little lamb toy and some instructions on how to baby massage especially for babies with upset tummies. Thank you Meow :)


'Mommasaurus'

Kitten onesies ;)

Elizabeth (continued)

Got word today they'll be delivering my brother and SIL's baby girl sometime tomorrow - and she'll have to stay in an incubator until January, at least. My mom doesn't have too much info on it - but so far they've not gotten any 'bad' news. Their youngest boy Benji is 8, and he was worried mom and baby were never coming home - poor little guy they had the hardest time getting him to go to school today... but they were able to calm him down. He really can't wait to have a little sister.

My brother and his wife lost a little girl just a year before they had Benji, so I'm thinking all good thoughts for them - hope this all goes smoothly and the incubator is just routine and not serious. Thanks to all of you for your good wishes too!

It will also be very cool (agreed!) for Esme to have a cousin so close in age she could visit one day. My sister had a boy a year before Benji was born that now lives with his father in Oklahoma, but Benji and his cousin did get to meet once and had a good time together.

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Developments around Here

I took Esme up to her grandparent's in the truck today. It was my first time driving with her in the car seat. I can lift her no problem in the car seat now, which was still a little difficult on the 13th of this month. She weighed in at 9 lbs, 3 oz. yesterday :)


Esme at 3 weeks

Failed Zoetrope and other recent things...

Esme's hair is getting quite long!
The color (right now) is darker than mine, but lighter than Mark's
Our new postal scale arrived in the mail, and the first thing we weighed on it was Esme. She now weighs 8 lbs, 15 oz, which is quite a bit more than last week!

We brought her up to see Mark's parents on Sunday and she slept almost the entire way through the visit. Mark's mom showed me some of his baby pictures. We were surprised how much Esme looks like her daddy did when he was that age ;) (which is quite a bit different than he looks now *grin*)


freehand paper cutouts taped onto the lampshade draw baby's eyes with high contrast
Esme likes to stare at the lights in the house, and at reflections of light on mirrors, chrome etc...


A failed 'zoetrope' attempt

I cut out a circle, added a strip around the edge to make a cylinder, and cut strips in it at equal intervals. However, when I tried to place images in the places between the cutouts, it didn't really work like I thought it would :( Something larger, and much more exact measurements will be needed... or ricepaper that the light can shine through from the inside (like the lampshade above).

Mark is going to the DMV and getting the vehicle ready for his trip out to Utah and other places West. He thinks he might leave next week if he can get everything ready. I have to go to the DMV as well *yuck* next week, as I still haven't gotten there to change my name on my driver's license. Time is really passing by quickly here!

Living the Minutes and Not the Hours

I told Mark a few days ago I can't believe Esme will be two weeks old soon. I said: 'Ever since those first contractions started, I feel like I've been living the minutes and not the hours.' He agreed we both are. The actual time we record in our minds has slown down immensely, yet the days somehow keep passing by almost unnoticed.

And it's not just this beautiful baby that is making us pay attention to every little thing while the hours somehow slip away in the process... although she is the majority of it ;) We have a task list a mile long, and only so much time to do it in.

We're transferring our store over to a new computer system, which means a lot of juggling in the next week or so. I have to learn the new system before Mark travels. I'm still not too good with the car, but I did drive the truck (also a stick shift) to the store yesterday with little problem.

We're working at being independent at a time (new baby) when most people we've known were leaning on others around them for much more than ever. But, we know we have to do this, because we want something that is ours, totally, that we know we can continue doing together on our own ambitions, with less chance that it could be pulled out from under us unexpectedly.

So far, we're doing quite well, but we're feeling the crunch coming up. We're stepping up our already busy days to get ready for the move. I'm almost ready to do that, but not quite yet. I'm sleeping better at night and Esme is on a much more regular, almost predictable schedule.

Milestone: Esme's umbilical cord stump fell off last night. She was having a 'digestion fit' at the time, when her belly hurts her and she has to fuss until something settles. I told her: 'Hey little one, be good to your new belly button, you only get one!'

Working on a Plan...

Mark is working on a plan to go scout out several places we might move to. That won't be for a few weeks yet, but until then I have to get refamiliarized with driving the car and doing things for our shop.

I have to learn to drive the stick shift without jerking it - and without getting stranded on hills etc... before I can go out with Esme in her car seat. I drove to the post office yesterday by myself. I have trouble with the stick shift in general, and this car has a starting problem as well. It gave me trouble three times just on the way back from the post office, but I was able to get it acting right again.

I was going to go do some shopping today, but decided it could wait for another day. I don't want to leave my baby to go buy things that aren't immediately needed -- it feels silly, and she is perfectly safe and happy here with Daddy but I definitely had trouble letting go enough to make the trip.

Update from the Homefront

Me and ' Bazooka' (Esme) sitting in the workshop
Esme had her first week doctor appointment today, and she actually gained weight! Some babies lose weight the first week, but she has gained 3 oz. since her birthday (8 lb, 3 oz.). The doctor did her checkup and said she looks very healthy. She didn't even sqwuak much except when the doctor turned her over in midair (holding his hand under her tummy) to check her back.

The little white bump near Esme's left eye is called 'milia', and should go away by itself. It was there when she was born and we had both wondered what it was when it didn't brush off.

The doctor also said we're clear to do our move with Esme. My physical antibodies should protect her until she is about three months old. As long as we make sure she sees a doctor for her two-month immunizations, and I get my 6 week postaprtum checkup, we should be okay. We don't have to get those here, but we do have to make sure they don't get forgotten in all the shuffle.

Thank You Lynn!

Lynn from Canada sent a wonderful package that was waiting for us when we got home from the hospital. What good timing! However, it took me a while to get it opened, and I apologize, a bit longer to get pictures taken!


Pretty pairs of shoes to grow into, receiving blankets and 'The World's Smallest Diaper Bag.'
The diaper bag is really neat - Lynn took a lunchbox (with little lunchbox containers in it) and really packed the compartments full of useful and handy-to-reach things! There was a nice small 'Nuby' bottle, but it's already in the dishwasher.


Sleepers and a handknit baby sweater and booties!
Lynn also sent a lot of clothes that Esme can grow into, and a few things that fit her now (such as the cute yellow sleeper in Wednesday's post. The handknit sweater and booties are so cute - and they have little 'lamb' buttons on them ;) It was such a surprise! She must have dropped a couple of hints on her blog including one 'Which November baby is this for?' but I didn't think it could be Esme! What pretty wonderful work Lynn! The yarn is also very soft and 'cushy' :)

She also sent a few snowsuits, which I haven't seen for sale yet here at this 'warm' time of the year. They'll work great for when we do visit my parents in Minnesota sometime next year when Esme is bigger. There was a very nice gift for Mark as well! :)

THANK YOU Lynn :)

Esme's birth

Daddy and Esme nap together

Labor Stats: About 33 hours. Labor started at 12:30 am on November 3rd, and was continuous until her birth at 9:37 am on November 4th.

Pain management: I listened to Esme's heartbeat on the monitor, when it was on, to help ride contractions. I also used repetitious movements of my hands and feet, humming and, in the last hour, growling (yes, growling... it surprised me too) to manage the pain of the contractions. They gave me one shot in the middle of the night so I could sleep for an hour and a half as I had been awake for 24 hrs+ at that point.

So, How was Childbirth? : My best friend from high school called me the other night and asked this question. What am I supposed to say to that? The first words that came to mind was 'I loved it. I'd do it again in a heartbeat.' It was a transition - and it meant keeping Esme safe and bringing her into the world. I didn't enjoy the pain, but it was purposeful and every step was something unknown to be passed through on the way to our little girl's birth. I think I disappointed my friend -- she expected me to complain to her maybe? I can't - things went beautifully well - unexpectedly well, and I am grateful for that for both of our sakes (Esme and I).

My first words as Esme came out (delivery): 'That was SO cool!...' I felt like a surfer dude saying that, but really, it was an amazingly strange feeling. The pressure was instantly gone, and I felt Esme unfold all her limbs on the way out with lots of liquid all around her. It was like a squid came out of me! All of my fears of not knowing what my baby would look like subsided immediately - she couldn't look like anything but what she is, which is perfect.

My first interaction with Esme: They laid her on my chest after Mark cut the cord. She was screaming her head off because they had just cleaned her up at the delivery station. I started singing her song to her as I looked at her and tapped the rhythym out on her back. She quieted immediately and started staring at me with this 'Wow' look.

Post-delivery: I was up 65 lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight when we left for the hospital. The day we got home I had already lost 18 lbs (baby, fluid, placenta etc.), and today I've reached nearly 30 lbs. lost! That is kind of crazy, as the doctor only wanted me to gain 30 lbs. maximum during the entire pregnancy. I'm so super-hungry and thirsty these past few days I don't think I would have survived without this extra weight on me ;)

I had a super-woman high (human biology, ain't it neat?) for several days after we arrived home but it has begun to diminish and I'm having to make sure I don't overwork myself because Esme can feel that. She didn't let me sleep at all last night fussing every time I put her down and wanting to eat every few hours. That made ME want to cry this morning because I was overtired. She did sleep this afternoon for quite a while though, and Mark and I took that nap with her which helped both of us ;)

24/7 Esme

We interrupt your craft blog with a baby post:
She is keeping me really busy, but she is also so sweet and alert. Well, I caught her sleeping here ;) I'm pretty sure I couldn't ask for a better baby :) I'll have details on the birth at some other time, but that was also amazing and went 'surprisingly' well by the comments of the nurses, doctor and midwife at the birth center/hospital.


3 days old
As you can guess, we've been '24/7 Esme' since she was born, and that is a wonderful thing. I'm getting used to taking care of a baby, which I was pretty worried about. The last baby I 'took care of' was my sister's when I was eleven years old. She was eighteen, and upset/anxious about everything. She got angry really easily with everyone, even angry at the baby - so it wasn't a good experience. But Esme is ours, and that makes a world of difference.

Sleep? It is really difficult to sleep now that Esme is born. And I don't mean she is waking me up crying... sometimes she barely has time to make a noise before I'm there. Mark is helping a LOT. I admit I'm kind of 'hogging' her, though - my instincts are to always have her in sight, keep her safe and keep on the alert to take care of her next need. I keep jerking awake when I try to nap, even when she is settled. I'm surprisingly alert most of the day (and night) for a total of about three or four hours of 'jerky' sleep. All that with no caffeine involved -- which is hard for even me to believe. Mark has made sure I can get a few hours here and there to _try_ to sleep, which really does help.

I'm up and around the house, taking care of her and myself, keeping up dishes and laundry when she takes short naps - but everything else was at a standstill and might (might) pick up a little more in the next few days, but maybe not for a while. Now that I have more milk to give her she is sleeping longer at a whack - which helps on all fronts.

Jeanne's zebras were finished last Friday before Esme was born, but I have yet to take good pictures or do anything else with them. Lynn's package arrived from Canada, (THANK YOU!) and I did get to open it last night. More on that later as well. I've been asking questions on a midwifery bulletin board since we found out we were pregnant, and have been tapping away at our birth story for the ladies there but haven't gotten a good draft yet. This post itself took me all day to write in tiny pieces :}

Breastfeeding for the First Time

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We are breastfeeding, and that was quite a bit of anxiety for me but today especially things worked out much better. I learned a few things between yesterday morning and today that I'll list here just because they really helped.

• Continue drinking two teacups of Red Raspberry Leaf Tea a day to help bring in milk.
  
• Drink LOTS of water - if you're dehydrated there won't be any/enough to give baby.
  
• A very warm (not hot) washcloth before feeding for the first few days. Place it between the collarbone and the breast you'll feed from next.
  
• Feed as often as she makes the 'rooting instinct', don't wait for a certain time interval to pass. (Baby gets confused, you lose precious practice time)
  
• Aiming to make sure she has her tongue DOWN and not curled or raised up.
  
  Specific to my experience:
  
• If I swing her back and forth in my arms she throws her arms onto her tummy - which gets them out of the way. She has LONG strong arms!
• I can rub a finger behind her ear (not just on her cheek) to get her to turn that way.

Excellent breastfeeding articles:

• Storage and handling
  
• Lots of info, including breast care
  
• Nutrition for Breastfeeding mothers

As new parents we had a few questions we went to look up:

• telling if baby is too hot or too cold
  
• preventing SIDS
  
• SIDS more prevalent among infants with American Indian blood.
  
• pH of breast milk is 7.2, slightly basic or alkaline this science article says why that's important.
  
• General overview of infant healthcare
  
• Babies have 'soft spots' on their skulls. We went to find a page with a diagram of these soft spots, also called 'fontanels.'

Introducing Bazooka, our work of art

Sunday, November 4, 2007 at 9:37 am
8 lbs even, 19.5 inches
This is our Esme, (Esmerelda Mona Lisa), our work of art and love.

Everything started really rolling along at 12:30 am Saturday morning. At 3 pm, we headed to the hospital. She came on her due date at 40 weeks even, surprising everyone, including me.

Daddy was there in the room with us and is just so sweet and wonderful to both of us. Watching him hold Esme and interact with her is pure joy and amazement that I am here with both of them at this time and place

She Might make her due date after all

Lots of steady contractions today, plus other signs that this could be happening today or tomorrow. We'll see if she makes the 5-1-1 rule today. (5 minutes apart, lasting one minute each, for at least an hour)

No Big News Yet

Still in 'pre-labor' and resting up. Baby Bazooka is moving a lot, and we're just waiting for things to get close enough together to go to the hospital. Hope to have good news for you sometime over the weekend, otherwise ultrasound on Monday.

Bazooka Sends out a Convincing False Alarm

Last night was quite interesting, although not enough to go to the hospital yet. My Braxton Hicks felt, for the first time, like real contractions hard and painful across my stomach and abdomen. And they repeated, first at 50 minutes apart, then closer and closer until they were about 10 minutes apart. They came when I was walking around, when I was distracted by something else etc... so they had me thinking maybe she was coming! We were keeping the time on a computer screen Mark has that records a time when you hit 'return.'

By the time they were ten minutes apart I had that little card ready to call the hospital. But, I was really tired, and they weren't increasing in strength, just frequency. Even the hardest one didn't make me hold my breath through it. So I laid down to see if I could sleep at all - and after about a half-hour they stopped coming and I slept through the night.

So, very convincing little girl -- but you'll have to do better to get this mom to take you to see the birthing center again ;)

On a side note - she was active throughout those feelings and I've felt her move around since I've been up this morning, which makes me feel really relieved and certain it was just a false alarm.

39 weeks and counting

Still no baby, but the doctor says it should be soon! Well... that is, within the next two weeks still.

Lynn said she wanted to see another picture to see if the baby has dropped any more since 37 weeks.




Baby Bazooka is SO active lately and yet I'm not sure what a contraction is, so we're not sure if I'm having any. I'm feeling a lot of pressure that comes and goes, but it's concentrated on one side and not very regular... hopefully it isn't too long now!

I'm making zebras for Jeanne and another custom order (maybe) for the shop. It was too cold yesterday for the flea market and we still have 8 puppies!