Friday, October 30, 2009

Happy Halloween!

Mark carved this pumpkin tonight that Esme was given last week when we were out in town. I drew a kitty face on it :)

update from the trenches... ha

Here we are less than a week from Esme's birthday - she'll be two, and that boggles me. Not because I don't think she should be two already... in fact it's the opposite. I can't believe she hasn't BEEN two for a good while already, with the terrible twos already so highly in play ;) And she is becoming so much more like a big kid it's hard to believe she was still 1+ and not two or three all this time. We bought some really cheap birthday candles and will probably make cupcakes or a banana bread to bring to Grandma's. Cheesy maybe.. but I don't want it to be a big birthday party just a few little symbols - blowing out the candles, unwrapping a gift (her boots already planned) and being sung happy birthday. She is just starting to remember and I want to make a 'birthday' memory without all the rest of the usual hubbub.

Other than that - I am just trying to keep sane as my hours feel like they are increasing at work even though the time clock says they're not. I feel like most of my waking time is spent there and when I get home I am very tired. I even wake up in the middle of the night sometimes wondering if I set the alarm - why am I not hearing it - did I do something wrong? Am I going to be late today? etc etc... Today is my day off and I still woke up the first time at like 5 am thinking I messed up and didn't set my alarm. I am so behind on everything I'd really like to do - laundry and cleaning and organizing and making things... and in the quiet times at work I beat my brain sometimes about what else I could do to earn more money or spend less money etc etc...

I am finishing a book, mostly reading it at work, for the first time in a long time again. A new book, not something I read before and skip over large parts in the re-reading. 'The Dragon and the Unicorn' by Attanasio. Attanasio uses all these huge words and flowery concepts and historical mythology in his books - it has led to a lot of deep thinking as well. His 'Last Legends of Earth' I've re-read about five times over the years and it also has a 'big picture' universe/time/destiny/'everything is because everything is interconnected' theme in it which speaks to some part of my soul.

Go now and attempt to see what I want to do with my day off. I've already been called twice on the phone over an order I made yesterday - but I did tell them if there were questions like that to call me. I have two other things to wrap up on the weekend with customer problems which the phone call brought back into the forefront of my mind, going to shove them into the back again and look at my worktable. Esme will probably want to see Grandma today as well -- but I might give her a bath first, her hair is wild and uncontrollable!

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Esme tells Mom how to make dinner

I put her down for a nap after she barely ate any lunch and she slept until 8 pm. She was really happy when I mentioned a bath and ran downstairs. During her bath tonight Esme stood up and said 'MMMMMM' loudly. She was hungry, and right now! She put all her toys away with hardly any prompting, climbed out of the bathtub and as soon as I got her dressed she was directing me how to make dinner and urging me to make it like yesterday -- she was so hungry! I cooked her a little chicken in the microwave because she couldn't even stand waiting for the fish I put in the oven! She was pointing where the plate holders were and where the paper plates were and then pointing at the plate and the oven and the table etc... and after the microwaved chicken was gone she cried when I took the plate over to the oven to put fish on it - until she saw the fish. Then she was happy and pointing at the table and saying 'mmmmmmm' again and again. She ate so much!

Now we are watching a movie and Esme is yelling at the bad bugs not to attack the people and saying RAR at them and 'oh no' etc etc...

Friday, October 23, 2009

Small amounts of time

It seems lately I only have small amounts of time between anything -- and it goes by so fast. Mark mentioned the other day that Esme will be bringing home a boyfriend before we even blink again ... time is going by that fast. But I am focused more towards the 'now' which quickly becomes the 'then.' I was going to ask for my remaining vacation days off at work (found out I have two more to use) on October 1st and wow wouldn't you know it is already October 22nd... too late for the November dates I was thinking of and now I'm trying to find a few days in December. Wow. And at home I just try to get a few things done besides the laundry and Esme baths and etc etc that fill up so much of my actual 'off' time. And I still spend time at the computer that could be doing other things - but it is easier to get up from the computer and grab Esme than it is from the sewing machine on the other side of the room... and Esme loves her StarFall and to watch Mark play games so she is often in our laps.

and even now my small amounts of time are fleeting... I need to get to work in about twenty minutes so it is time to go put up my hair and do all those little things that I save until the last few minutes...

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Woodland Wonderland

Mark took Esme out into the woods today. He took some great pictures.

A wonderland in the woods

A woodland 'rabbit' looks on

A flower in one hand and a Bunny sitting behind

strike a pose (darn bangs)...


Ready for my close-up Mr.DeMille

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Orange Plaid Pants and Giggles

This is a pair of orange plaid pants I recycled out of a large men's shirt. I had seen it at a yard sale for a dollar and thought 'When is the next time I'll see orange plaid without going out of my way to look for it?' Not that I would go out of my way to look for it, ;) but it rated high on the unique scale at the time. These even use the shirt pocket on the front panel of the pants - so maybe she can carry a toy around with her when she gets the idea. These are the same kind of pants as the rabbit ones.. Mark calls them 'karate zen' style because they are just slightly bell-bottom.

In this picture she is laughing her head off because Daddy popped a balloon trying to blow it up. Actually it was the third balloon that had popped.. or maybe the fourth. It wasn't a good night for balloons.. maybe the package we have is getting old.

And here are some outtakes from her and our pit bull 'Bunny' playing on the floor under Mark's desk. All of the paint is coming off the floor under there... but short of taking everything out of the room and repainting, or putting down different flooring etc etc... not sure what to do about it right now. Bunny is a VERY tolerant pit bull. Mark gave her careful training when she was a puppy to make sure she would be a gentle dog. She even allows Esme to play 'stuff on my dog' and sits letting books and blocks stacked up on her. Esme knows she is in 'danger' of getting licked if she stays still too long near the tongue end!

Friday, October 16, 2009

sewing update (no pics)

Made two identical pairs of pants out of navy fabric with little rabbits hopping, and also a pair of red 'doggie' fabric pants. Esme loves the doggie fabric and says 'ow ooo!' howling at the doggies. I put a little hopping rabbit tag in the back of the dog fabric pants because they ended up with a definite front and back, while the rabbit pants seem to be nearly the same front and back. I'm not sure if that is a difference in the cloth or the way I made them. They are just a tiny bit long on Esme without her shoes on which is a refreshing change from all the shorts I've been making, and all the pants that have turned into shorts over the time she has been wearing them.

I've also finished the one blue pinafore dress with the French seamed waist and a pair of shorts that match it. There is a green 'palm leaf' fabric I found on the clearance rack that so far is one pair of shorts and hopefully two more pairs of pants.

I have this weekend off and I'd like to get a package out to Em soon but I'd also like to include something tiny for her birthday. We're not doing anything for Esme's birthday except a cake and balloons and sing the birthday song sort of thing... and I have a pair of black winter boots to give her since she is 'shoe-obsessed' she is probably going to love them and clomp around the house in them happily.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Crayons and RAR

She takes her hair out every few hours - so this time Mark slicked her hair back with some 'stay-put' stuff I have. I was cutting a pair of pants out of the red fabric and Esme came up with her crayon box and her RAR finger-puppet monster and wanted to 'play too'.

We'll have dinner in a little bit and I'll give her a bath :) It's been a busy day for her and I've done a lot of cleaning around here!

cleaning, laundry, esme games

I felt like I was getting a chest cold last night - made a hot toddy and a hot bath and felt good enough to sleep finally. Not so bad this morning but I really feel like I'd rather be taking it easy -- instead I'm telling myself to clean up some things because I have two more days of work this week and I don't know if we'll be in the house much for the weekend.

I vacuumed and scrubbed Esme's room and put a lot of toys 'out of reach' in a bag in the clothes shelf. Esme just throws them out of the containers and never plays much with them anyway -- she is so much more often following us around now and rarely plays in her room for very long. I put a good number of the books up too - leaving her favorites and throwing away a lot of the torn-up magazines. Hopefully in a few months I'll be able to get her a little chair and table and make a 'reading area' to keep all the books in... but as Mark says 'good luck with that' -- Esme never leaves anything in the same place twice it seems. It's a given of the age ;)

Esme has really taken to her alphabet flash cards now. I tried to give them to her a few months ago but they were more interesting as 'throw in the air' fodder than looking at what was on them. Now she sits down and goes through them saying 'uh huh.... mm hmmm.... 'Q' etc etc..' She even takes them to the cats and dogs and goes through them as if the cat or dog understands what she is doing.. most of them just sit there and look at us like 'huh?' She also has taken great enjoyment in putting them in their box and taking them out again...spends about five minutes doing that then goes back to other similar games like putting her rubber frog in a box and shutting it - opening it, etc.. putting a cylinder block in a bottle and dumping it out. It's interesting to see how her mind works. It's always 'on' and she's always doing something.

In the bathtub she has gotten a new game with her soap crayon holders - which are like hollow pencils that have the soap crayon in them. She takes a superball or rubber duck and tries to balance them on top of the crayon holder. She has done that with some of her toys upstairs too - notably dice on wheel axles torn off some of her other toys.

I took up the advice of MichelleY (Piper's mom) on the book 'Go Dog Go' a few months ago. Esme loves it too, and can say the name and ask for it when she sees it nearby.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

day off rainy tuesday

Tried to go to the flea market this morning but it was cold and threatening to rain. Came home and cleaned half the kitchen - made Esme a pair of shorts.. lots more to do in the house. Go make a pot of coffee and see what comes next.

Esme is scribbling on her easel. She was a brat at the flea market screaming whenever we had to leave some animal cages and because she couldn't get a ride in somebody's pull-cart they had brought to put things in etc... Since we've been home she has been pretty good, eating soup with a spoon, watching some Shaun and getting her own crayon box while I'm sewing.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Use your Words

More and more lately and ALL NIGHT tonight Esme has been having screaming fests at me because she wants something and won't tell me clearly what it is - trying to drag or force me to do something using gestures and pulling on me and won't even stop screaming to listen to me. She also wants to hit me in the high points of these to make me do what she wants -- and I'm NOT letting her get the idea that is OK. Often we just put her to bed when she gets like this - but it hasn't been fixing the cause of the issue - her not communicating what she wants.

Tonight I took her down in my lap when she was getting into one of these tantrums and held her there screaming her head off until she quieted down some - then told her I wanted her to use her words and tell me what she wanted - like if she wanted the ball (which she motioned at halfway through as a 'let me out of this' distraction technique) she should say she wants the ball - 'ball, I want the ball - you have to tell Mom this, no AAHWHWHW (mimic whining cry) say 'ball' - you say ball' etc... and then I let her go. She was happy to just be 'free' again and talked to me a lot about the ball - blue ball etc etc... and then she wanted to hug me, but was afraid I'd hold on to her again - so I asked 'hug?' and she beamed -- came and hugged me and then grabbed the ball again. She said 'hug' twice more and hugged me. Then we had a discussion about going upstairs, yea?, see daddy and sit in our night-night watch Shaun the Sheep? She didn't want to go upstairs at first, and then she thought about it - and asked 'baa?' I said 'yes if you sit in your night-night (bed) you can watch Shaun the Sheep, but we have to go upstairs for that - are you ready to go upstairs?' etc etc... using MY words - and she came sat in my lap and said 'baa' - so yes she wanted to go upstairs. Upstairs I asked Daddy to put on the movie and she was extremely good - I put her in her pajamas with hardly any complaint, put her in her bed and she didn't start screaming immediately etc etc.. she just sat and watched Shaun and then was asleep in about fifteen minutes.

It sounds like she took the 'use your words' session to heart - and I hope I don't have to do another one tomorrow -- but ignoring the crying isn't working - putting her to bed is only a temporary fix and I'd like to have have a night now and then I'm not screamed at (every minute I'm not catering to her) from the moment I come home until she is asleep -- they're getting rare lately and I have to turn that around!

Thursday, October 08, 2009


cleaned the kitchen some, the bathtub some - did most of the laundry, cleaned Esme's toy area (throwing out some ratty stuff and torn magazines) and swept two areas of the floor... there is a lot more that needs to be done but if I take it a piece at a time it doesn't start me into a cleaning tornado of the dangerous kind. I can make myself pretty upset just by cleaning.. something to do with my mother and learned behavior. Anyway - feel accomplished for the bit I got done and now if Esme isn't too covered in ketchup from her fish sticks I'll bring her to see Grandma, otherwise it's bathtime. Yesterday she fell asleep at three, and seeing we had a town run for the houseplant materials and chicken, we didn't get up there at all. If she crashes for a nap today maybe I'll get something done in sewing - maybe not...

I read an article on Fark about hoarding issues and WOW. That spurred some more of my cleaning efforts today. Several members of my family up north have issues with hoarding useless but supposedly 'valuable' possessions, to the point of being unable to live normally. I have an uncle who can't even walk through his house it's that bad. My mom is getting worse in her elder years - but I think that's mostly to do with her being sick a lot and not being able to remember where she puts anything anyway etc... She hates to wear her glasses, and I know she uses that as a partial excuse for not going through anything. I'd hate to ever get that way. A few years ago my ideal living space was nearly barren - with everything put away or thrown away. That isn't possible with a kid much less with an Ebay store or sewing workshop. HA. Well I can at least try to throw out what isn't easily useful and stack what is in an organized fashion. Hopefully a lot of it can be yard sale fodder sometime - if there is any time - that I am off work long enough to do it.

Wednesday, October 07, 2009

Sheep Zombies, cheetos and houseplants

My big project today was to re-pot the houseplant on the left (Shefflera, umbrella plant). I got it when I started working again and by now it was in a much-too-small pot nearly the same size as the ivy next to it. It also has some yellowed leaves from low light - so I tried to give it a better spot this time. Esme loves to go to the greenhouse and I love to watch her explore there - so we went and scoped out what they had. This time of year it wasn't much. But I did buy the white pot there and went on to the big box store to get the platter under it and a new Shaun the Sheep disc that was there. That makes three discs Esme can switch off on so we don't get so sick of them. She also watches the Wallace and Gromits and any other stop-motion cartoons we have, but none except Shaun turn her into a 'zombie'

Sheep zombie in action.. err.. inaction.

She just stands there and watches until each episode is done - takes a turn about the room and as soon as the next starts she's in the same place. Scary! The sheep zombies are upon us!

And cheetos. Here she is making a big deal out of 'mmmm' cheeto. Between this and fried chicken today she's had enough junk food to last a week!

Note: I've had that ivy ever since Fargo - way back Fargo, in college. I rescued it from Hornbacher's grocery store's clearance rack for 3.99 when it was about 5 inches square or less. It looked lonely as I waited in line for the bank window there -- and it came home with me. This is a clipping, not the original plant - I lost that one and it is presumed dead. Everybody I have given clippings off of it has killed them - except this one I gave Mark long ago. He still had it sitting in a jar when I moved in here and it has been vigorous ever since. I'm thinking of making another cutting off of it to put in our upstairs here.

Friday, October 02, 2009

funny things toddlers do

Tonight Esme is running around the room wearing her 'RAR' dinosaur shirt and making good use of it - saying 'RAR' everywhere. She also has a three-eyed alien rubber finger puppet someone sent me in the mail long ago - and is saying RAR with that. The poor dogs are getting run over and around and bounced near etc... she is pushing the cat tent around and wiping her brow like 'this is so much work!' Grandma thinks she got that out of the Shaun the Sheep cartoon - it's likely! She is also tossing a block over her shoulder and then turning around to see where it lands - did that about eight times tonight. That is the block she kept losing when she shook her big jar the other day - and entirely lost it for a while. Guess she's trying to recreate the scene? Mark says she might be imitating the Swedish Chef on Muppets because he always throws everything behind him when he's done with his song.

A few minutes ago she holds up a cup of apple juice I don't recognize from 'today' and makes her 'slurpie' sound and says 'mm'? I ask her 'That's not the cup you just had - where did you get that? Is that current?' and she looks at it and very coyly asks 'EWW?' I say yes 'EWW' let's go find your current cup and fill it up with juice.

This morning Esme picked up the word 'pants' again and repeated after me 'I want pie' - both word/phrases are in her Jimmy Neutron cartoon 'When Pants Attack' I forget exactly how the conversation went - something about 'p' words, pizza, pie, puppies (to which she said doggies) but when she repeated 'I want pie' I told her 'You don't even know what pie is!' haha

Last night it was raining and I ran out to check the truck windows. Esme saw me come in and wanted to go out so badly -- I told her 'wet out there!' and wiped water from my arm on her arm. She said 'EWWWW' and then I opened the door and let her see the rain was coming down. She started repeating 'wet ahsite - wet wet wet ahsite!' and continued for about five minutes. During the movie 'Aliens vs. Monsters' we rented and watched last night she dove down and hid by the bed when everyone was screaming and crying on the breaking bridge. After the 'scary' part was done she stood up and asked 'ow?' and looked at the screen -- I told her everyone was alright and then she got back on the bed and watched more with us. She loved Insectosaurus and said 'RAR' whenever she saw it.

It's amazing to see all the thoughts going on in her head lately and try to figure out where they are all coming from and how they are coming together.

Thursday, October 01, 2009

Thursday morning

I have to be at work in an hour - have had a lazy day and a half off of work - and a turnaround shift tonight (close and then back twelve hours later).

Esme has been cute this morning, asking me to draw sheep on her easel and showing me a few new words of hers 'pants' being the one I am happiest about. She loves to tell me her cup is 'empty' now and everything else she can think of, like the clothes hamper, my coffee cup, a bucket etc... I got drug by my pants across the house, up the stairs and across the upstairs in order to give her a diaper change. I'll be glad when she starts using words for things like that!

I've got one dress entirely finished except for noticed a problem with the skirt :( Have to take it back off and try it again.

Mark went to town while I did laundry and gave Esme her applesauce and bread. She loves applesauce or yogurt with a piece of bread and a drink in between her breakfast and lunch. Especially because she doesn't eat as much breakfast as she used to - just a quick bite with some milk and she's off running until snacktime!

Now it's time to get dressed for work while Mark makes pizza for Esme and him. He said I gave her a bath and got her all clean and now he is going to get pizza everywhere so I have to give her another bath tonight when I get home (hehe) - if she's awake!