Of pink glitter, sprinkles and other reflections on five years old

I am down with the flu and have been sleeping much of the past few days.  But still, I have these observations to make that will otherwise slip me by.  Esme is growing - I see her long limbs as she folds up next to me with her white round face staring at me - pleading at me with blue eyes laced with green stripes (she loves to comment on those in the mirror now) - it is daytime get up no more with the sleeping.  She still has her cough but her fatigue and fever were only the first two days and now she is bouncy and ready to take on the Universe.  I am glad for that, but also glad Mark can distract her away from my leaden self as she bounces around my head like Pinkie Pie pony trying to get me to play games.  And I came back from sleep with these beautiful thoughts : She is so much the classic little girl in her ways - sprinkles make everything better, Daddy put sprinkles on her donuts in the night just to see how surprised she would be in the morning - but it takes three times longer to eat because with sprinkles, you have to enjoy the view as well...  clothes that are too tight to wear are struggled on because they have glitter and glitter makes it pretty - glitter and rhinestones are prerequisite now for clothes, and eyegashing colors of neon pink and green and purple.   She is pink and purple and My Little Pony girl - who will run screaming across the grassy field being chased by imaginary alligators (who must be fed strawberry water to appease them) and come back covered head to toe with mud, puppy beside her - ready to go for another round after a hot bubble bath... have to have bubbles.. everything is better with bubbles, too.

I'm just glad to be awake for a few hours.  I received a few new patterns in the mail and Mark has got the new Kindle.  My particle physics book came - and it has been notated in by an interesting previous reader as well - I'm reading the notes as much as the book...  Esme has went to her grandma's and I am trying to keep enough energy to do something besides sleep in between large bowls of soup and tea.  I carried so much stuff up yesterday I felt like Leelu in the Fifth Element sans the whole chicken after her regeneration.  I do feel better than yesterday - but it is only in degrees.

green raglan sleeve by the instructions...

 Simplicity 7228 - c. 1960s size 6

in progress

This is not the droid I was looking for - a pattern along the same line, though - maybe.  I am trying it out actually following isntructions for this plain green fabric we bought on clearance.  If I like it - it might be expandable into another design with the red and gingham fabric.  I also ordered two much more 'modern' dress patterns - the frilly layered shirred ones that all of the girls are wearing that look like broomstick skirts layered one on top of the other.  Esme saw a friend wearing one and then another girl on the computer when I was looking at fabrics, and she expressed she wanted one of those - was it too expensive?  No, but not something I have at the moment - or feel confident setting out to design at the moment... so cheap pattern it is - and it will probably be here next week, with lots of time to try my hand at them before summertime.

done - it looks about the right size, will have a try on later.

I laid it out over the blue dress from November and it seemed the same size, sleeve length and just a bit longer in the skirt - so hopefully? 

The back facing to zipper area was very fussy, and I made the cuffed sleeve version which is unusual for my style of sewing -- and I think it worked out okay.  There was a point I wasn't paying attention I spent ten minutes trying to attach the yoke upside down..and then righted myself and continued.  I used a fancy stitch on the machine to give a bit of extra to the otherwise plain color - Mark said I should stitch a symbol of the Dragonborn on it for Esme as we are playing Skyrim as of late and it does resemble some of their clothing.

Later:  Esme is running a high temperature after coming home from school with a stomach bug - she ate lunch and played at Grandma's but was home and sleepy over dinner, falling asleep by 6...  an hour ago (10 pm) I gave her some tylenol and a bath and it brought the fever down for a while... seeing if it will hold.

run by posting

I have been on a blog hiatus lately - partly the season, and the time of week with work... and the fact that I haven't done anything photo worthy in a while.  Now we will have two days off and Esme is in bed with washed and combed and braided hair for school in the morning...

 I got a call on my voice mail the other day from my dad - saying my mom is not doing well again... she is in the hospital and they are running more tests.  She was very tired when I spoke to her a few days before that - could not stay awake.  I have been trying not to think about that, in truth.  I still have thought some about it - about how she has not seen Esme and I should do that to be a good daughter, but how dangerous the last trip was and not wanting to put Esme in that danger... feeling torn but Mama Bear at the same time.  It is hard.  And there is always work, and then 'recovery' from work, and work again... this was my seven day straight week and I am glad that it is done.  I have buried myself in my books and have also been playing Skyrim with Mark and Esme fighting dragons and vampires and sneaking around the countryside in the game with my bow and arrow, which is very satisfying. 

Esme is doing very well, happy - learning about lots of things and was very happy to advance to a new 'see behind your head' car seat in our truck ;)  She was very proud of it, and being able to see more things.  This morning she and Mark drove me to work and she said the sun was on the ground - it was just rising for the day.  She commented on that a lot all the way to work.  She was reading a lot of signs today in traffic and in the store - she is picking things up pretty well.  She was out with Mark all day long and they came to pick me up afterwards, at which time we bought her a toy at the store - a Nerf type soft dart gun - which she found a small toy dog at our house and rammed it inside the barrel -- almost ruined it but Mark fixed it. I have no idea why she thought that was a good idea... I even heard her talking about the toy dog going in there but it never dawned on me until too late what she was actually saying she was about to do...

I am laying out fabric for a few days of sewing - Esme picked out some ladybug fabric she wanted at the store.  There is also a good store of fabric still left from the box Sharon gave to me which has come in handy for several pairs of pants this past week.  I have some red gingham and plain red for a possible dress, some red with thin white lines that could nicely become a raglan robe coat (like her fish one) and several other fabrics that can become pants.   There is that yellow, red and green gingham I bought last year for a dress but have not yet brought myself to make -- as if I am saving it for something special?  Or maybe because it is just so much yellow...  the plaid reminds me of what my Mom dressed me in for my Kindergarten school picture, it was like something out of the 1950s....  I wondered again if I would still be making Esme's clothing for Kindergarten coming up... and I find that I really don't know and probably won't until it happens.  The last few days she has been wearing the dress tops I made in November, and they are still fitting well.  She tried on the velvet dress she wore at Halloween (store bought handmedown) and it barely fit at all..

a movie night for Esme

Esme went for a movie night with three other kids at G's house, and she had fun but also a hard time.  None of the children watched the movie very much.  There were tears and chases and toys everywhere and lots of power struggles.  Esme was 'third wheel' a little, because the other two girls go to the same school, and the little boy rebelled and decided not to play with her or the other girls for a while as well.  Towards the end there was no point where someone was not crying - because the younger girls were getting overtired.   Esme had a lot to think about this morning.  She asked about why the other children did not want to play with her at times - and also tried to pull off the same attitude as she saw the other children using on each other - but Mama and Daddy did not find it acceptable.  I told her the other girls were little and she was big - and we expected her to have a better attitude.  She had to sit down and think about that for a while before I left for work.

I wonder often if she will be a 'deep thinker' when she is older that I see forming now.. but then she has me as a Mama, it might not be something she can turn off.   I have a hard time with that at work, also.  The book I am ordering soon is particle physics and it excites me to know it will come in the mail.   I tried to read Munowitz's KNOWING the past few months but it just wasn't deep enough for me - this one I'm planning on buying is perhaps too deep.. perhaps between the two of them I will find a pond to swim in. We are also considering buying a Kindle to share so we can take ebooks and not just physical books with us in the car and to work etc..  If we like it, we might get another one and not share ;)  Mark has plans in the works right now to expand our Skyrim game with an expansion pack.  Geek family plans more geek fun, news at eleven ;)

In other news - there was a huge error in ordering that happened yesterday while I was not at work.  I had to fix it this morning as soon as I had arrived. I had to shake my brain out on that one as well - how does 30+30+15 = 61 to some people?  I just had to stare at the order screen and then look back to the customer - ok, I will ask it this way - what DID you want to do, because this order cannot work the way I see it here...  I just hope Monday/Tuesday rolls around and I don't get told 'sorry you can't cancel' by the vendor now.  It is all in ordered 'in my name'... and I do not support that when I am not there to check things. And yet, it still happens.... 

Most zebras run really fast

I'm catching a little uptick in Esme's language again - she is adding some more words and doing it well.  We were playing blocks and she told me that 'most zebras run really fast', which is a combination I can't remember hearing before - and a good one.  I tried to turn it back to her in the tub later 'Most Esmes really like bubbles' etc.. and she gave me the eyebrow...  I have caught her playing games with counting numbers and 'joking' with losing count and doing things out of sequence etc.. there is a lot of thought there.  She spends a lot of time with the decorating interface on Skyrim moving things around the house, balancing things, putting things in other things -- and then just knocking them all around the room for the fun of it.  She has been trying and sometimes succeeding to put containers on people's heads. 

There has been some attitude, too.  I asked her to clean her room, and she said that kids don't know how to do that.  She did it last week... and did a good job.  I reminded her, and said she could have her ice cream afterwards if she did it right.  Ok, off to clean the room.  Did a great job.  Fell on the stairs going back down - not hurt.. just dirty hands and upset about it.  I asked her to wash her hands and she starts doing the 'my hand is an annoying duck talking and talking and talking' routine at me... Why are you doing that?  Because you're talking and I want to play in my room and not wash my hands.  Ok, no washing hands - no ice cream though with dirty hands.  (oh the political dramas!)  Tears and upset and apologies and why you so mean to me... then I explain again.. and she washes her hands and eats the ice cream - then we play blocks in her room after that.  Our little five year old is definitely a master of drama queen.

We have today off - Esme has been invited to a movie with her friend G at her house tonight.  I have been feeling slightly under the weather but maybe can beat it...

we beat the sorcerer

We geared up and beat the sorcerer in the game last night - it didn't make Esme that happy - because then she had to go to bed.  She washed her hair extremely well though - hardly any fuss.  She was very upset I wouldn't let her wear her school clothes to bed... well, we still have problems with that and it isn't a good habit to get into.  I have to wake her up and brush out her hair before school today - here we go... work and school both for Mark's chauffeuring service, what a Wednesday!  (please make it buzzard free - ie: when I hit one and broke the windshield)... buzzard-free Wednesdays has become a meme around here now...