Oh it's been a hard few weeks - and I know that next week (when school starts) will exacerbate the stress and no-time feeling. Esme has been a bit out of sorts because I have worked so many days in a row lately - and the days we have had off have been busy doing things we really had to do... and not a lot of time for her big ideas. And, she has lots of big ideas, and order of things, etc.. that she really wants us to do with her lately. Every night before she goes to bed - and sometimes as soon as she wakes up in the morning, she grills me about when I have to work and if I work tomorrow, or the next day, and if we will do 'X'... And we have been quite strict with her about some things on top of that - like running for the house when she is outside and not saying 'its okay' that she didn't make it etc.. and not talking incessantly during the movie (yes - this is me saying this!). And when I have just come home from work and she has a list two miles long of things and I don't answer her - she has gotten touchy about that and not very polite at times... But, overall she has been very good considering the strain I am feeling with this week - and how much harder it is sometimes when you have no control at all - she can't drive to town, or decide the schedule, or say yes or no to big things... and she feels like she has been cooped up in the house forever and ever and... // I see it in her Minecraft builds where she makes cars, and 'expensive' houses, and a wardrobe full of iron and diamond chainmail, and recreates the beach and friends and 'big parties' etc etc...
In contrast, I feel like we've gotten some things done... even though there is more to do. And, I feel she has made another 'leap forward' these past few months - which this is all stemming from... her thoughts have gotten wider and deeper... and she is a bit antsy to go to first grade - but worried at the same time because she doesn't know what it will be... ie: the 'practice' on her Minecraft etc.
I don't get another day off until Friday.. and then it is just the one day - and not another until after she starts school on the fifth. Here we go... hold on to your hats and sunglasses... we're in for a ride.
//Other little bits: I took a few minutes to look in a store today as I had to cut some time at work - and it felt like 'something' to be doing that I normally wouldn't allow myself time for. I was taken aback by the prices as always - forty dollars for a skirt like the ones I wear at home (handmade ones), six for a tank top, fifteen for a bar of soap in the cosmetics department... I really can't believe those prices... and knowing that I am not the kind to actually buy in a store like that - I feel like I don't even belong looking, at times... But, I do it because I continue to learn and get a feel for the styles that are being pushed at people now - the collars, the cuts, the ruffles etc... I saw a dress almost exactly like the fabric I am planning on making a top/pants set for Esme out of... similar cut to what I was thinking but lots more ruffles on that one. I had seen this dress in my mind's eye already and seeing that one confirmed the plainer style... but also neat and simultaneously strange to see something so similar to my idea on the racks already...at a place I haven't set foot in over a year.
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