Sunday, September 16, 2007

Dreams, Patterns and Scraps

I know it's weird, and the last thing I should be thinking of right now - with Bazooka coming in a month - but sometimes I still feel like I failed Salamander and Willowpede. Sometimes I still dream that they are 'talking' to me in their way, just slight moments that actually stir me from sleep... and I know that sounds weird... Usually I just think it's one of our girls here, Mouse or Pogo, transferring into older memories.

I dreamt last night that I found Sally huddled in a very cold cupboard, she jumped out and was purring and happy to see me. She was lemurish, with her bright eyes and curling tail. As I was sitting with her, Willow came up (with her very distinctive thick furry neck) and also got into my lap. I looked at them both and rubbed them between their ears and down their necks and the dream slipped away. It was two a.m. when I woke up - and both Mouse and Pogo were outside hunting - so it wasn't them messing with my dreams. I know Sally and Willow are okay because a search that came into my site 'Sally says life is so hard' linked up with another picture's text on Flickr - not mine - which showed them in April, safe and sound. :( Dreams are just dreams :(

In the Workshop
I'm working on making my toy patterns more suitable for the sewing machine. A few months ago I was contacted for a book inclusion and even though that lady hasn't talked to me since then it is still a very good idea. We might even see about just making our own little 'booklet' with the local printing place - of about 8 to 10 patterns with instructions.

a bit of writing I was thinking up the other day...


Scraps


My mom used to collect scraps of everything she thought was useful. There was the bag of fabric scraps, for quilts that never got made (until I started sewing). There was the bag of 'left socks' that never got matched up. There was the box of paper and ribbon scraps, for making cards. There was a huge box of pennies, that got cashed in once a year. There were meat and grease scraps for making weekly stew and gravies.. (which did get used). Leftovers from the fridge were thrown together into hotdishes every couple of days. I was always taught to keep the scraps just in case they make up to something.

My mom said it was the 'Dutch in us' (not sure where she got that from) - the kind of attitude where you lick the bowl and spoon after mixing a cake. Often her scrap-saving ways would pay off, but just as often there would be mass-cleaning days, which were very stressful, where Mom wanted to 'get rid of everything.' I get some of that from her too - and it's a good explanation of why I clean when I'm stressed.

I haven't been doing as much of that since I've been with Mark, cleaning while stressed that is - I do clean, just not in that hurried 'I'm worried about everything - everything must be clean to make it better' sort of way. I always hated that habit, even AS I was doing it. For a while there, knitting was that kind of habit as well. I would churn out a dishcloth every day - or more, and it was a way of defocusing on what was upsetting me and making the stress into something productive. I don't knit as much as I used to either - but I do sew. Sewing isn't quite the same - it is like drawing, productive and ever-changing, keeping my focus on the project - not letting my hands go over the same repetitions over and over while my mind goes blank.

Not to say I'm giving up knitting - but yes, it has taken a back seat to my sewing simply because of this natural tendency.

Yesterday I took a good hard look at my fabric scraps. I'm always moving so quickly from project to project - it's hard to realize how fast they accumulate. They pile up in corners, and in bags - and soon you're wondering 'What in the world am I going to do with this?' I've made a few of the bassinet quilts out of scraps from the stuffed animals - and started throwing all the smallest pieces away. I guess I'm not so very frugal as my mom - but my workspace looks a lot cleaner!

8 comments:

stuffed said...

Ditto, ditto and ditto. I still have that feeling about two childhood pets (and sometimes dream about one of them). Ditto the mama cleaning/knitting thing. Mine would say, "It's the Scots in us."

mrspao said...

I often feel like that about Jasper - like I've failed him somehow and I have dreamed about him too. I think I'm a terrible hoarder so I have scraps of everything but I'm getting better at throwing things away.

Anonymous said...

I feel like I failed Karma. When I'm up late at night I look out the windows and imagine I see her waiting for me to let her back inside.

Jennifer said...

I know that I feel that way about Ashe, my cat that passed away last summer. I think it's natural to feel that way about the loss of a pet, whether through death, or separation.

Lynn said...

great stuff in the last few posts. now I am caught up since my holiday.
I have a huge box coming your way too. will send at the end of this week!
more laundry for you....sorry

Chris said...

I think it's completely natural to worry about Sally and Willow. That was all such a mess - and you see kitties who look similar to them all the time.

Jeanne said...

I think it's easy to feel that way about well loved pets that are no longer with us, no matter the manner of their departure.
I have hording tendencies myself. 8) And then I get an urge for a major cleanout. It's a never ending cycle.

Ladeewolf said...

I still miss the cat I had seventeen years ago, my mother wouldn't allow the cat in the house, and made my life miserable till I put her outside, when she disapeared I never got over it. I still miss her(the cat).