Saturday, August 13, 2011

bits

My father and his wife will be visiting some time this upcoming week. I'll try to clean things up a little more than the last 'surprise' visit he made about a month ago. Our house is firmly entrenched in toddlerhood, though... and geeky computer stuff.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

45 months

This was a big month for Esme. 40 inches tall now. She has learned how to put on her pants without help most of the time. She has not learned the shirts - but I have not been stressing it. We haven't used a diaper in over a week - although we have changed a few sheets, mostly on our own bed when she was napping. She is making some progress on tooth brushing. She can fill her own sports bottle drink cup with water at the sink but not get juice into the opening without making a mess. It seems, at times, that she can almost read some words - ones in places she would not have known by memorizing that situation - but instead has memorized what the word looks like and knows it even when seeing it in a new place. She is using her computer with ease now, and has learned to spell a few words on her word processor - cat, mom, esme and maggie. She paints bright abstracts all over her screen and can open the last one she was in and continue from it. She has learned how to transmit her photo gallery from her computer to her paint program and try to trace over them or make other additions to the pictures. She just put a green mustache on her picture of Beethoven that was in there. She's a 'natural.' She also seems to have figured out the 'undo' key to erase her changes and make new ones. She likes to try to play my Sims game and overflow the entire yard with armchairs. We had some discussion about naming characters something other than 'boy' or 'girl' or 'friend' or 'lady'. She decided to name the little boy Bob and the little girl Maggie. The lady she wanted to name 'Chair' because she likes chairs... we settled on 'Sherry', then 'Harry' for the man instead of 'Friend Man'.

She does still scream bloody murder to have her hair washed, and hyperventilate if anything except a toy falls into the bathtub whether we are in it or not. She loves to swing on the swing Mark made for her last year. She sings the Tweety Bird song sometimes lately - 'I'm a sweet little bird in a gilded cage, Tweety's my name but I don't know my age. I don't have to worry and that's a fact, I'm safe in here from that bad Putty Tat.' She also sings the Simpsons theme. She has also learned to twist herself up on the swing and let it spin her. She calls this 'ride the dog.' I have no idea why! She still calls piggyback rides 'ride the turtle'. She pretends she is Homer Simpson or Maggie Simpson, complete with personal habits like Maggie trying to walk then falling down on her knees or Homer patting his belly and stomping around. She has also picked up the little 'Marge' habit of growling 'rrrrrr' when she is upset about something, Mama not playing, having to put on shoes etc etc...

Tuesday, August 09, 2011

bits and another haircut


self cut and dye, again


I have been cutting my own hair now for about a year - it seems to both solve the social nervousness I have of the salon 'waiting room' atmosphere and also serve a therapeutic effect putting all the crux on my own self to get it done adequately. I overcome the fear of failure, stretch my capabilities, and live with the consequences. There is a lot to that. I don't see how it is less stress than waiting, getting called and making chitchat while someone else cuts it. In fact, it is more stress, but a different kind, a kind that feels healed and joyous when the results come out good, instead of just still awkward, as the social stress feels even after it is gone. I think it is the end result of 'capability' and the fact I can do it at home at any time - not have to plan a trip in town or go before or after work. I had dyed my hair the night before that. I am going 'gray' in an odd way, white all up underneath the nape of my neck. Nobody else sees it unless I put my hair up and point it out - but, I see it... and I've been wearing my hair up a lot lately. Instead of matching the color I ended up a slight shade lighter, with the ends not getting as much of the dye -- so a cut seemed in order as well. I cut off about three inches into a 'Cleopatra' type bob, which is easy enough to do. Esme watched me do it this time and did not cry like she did last time. Last time (months ago) she cried that Mama was cutting her fingers and was going to die. She told me to 'put it back' about the hair in the trash. This time she told me I was doing a good job and wandered around the room playing Maggie Simpson and drug all of her downstairs blocks in and surrounded my feet with 'build towers, I am making.' I stopped her short of building a tower on the toilet seat. *roll eyes*

About 'capability'... I have gained a lot in that the past few years, of which I am proud to have accomplished. I can fix a faucet, grow a garden and eat the food from it, bake a pumpkin pie, cut my own hair and sew clothing (getting quite good at this now for Esme, need to work more on my own). Every little bit helps, on the inside, as well.

The blue pumpkin came out of the garden. It had a spot on either side where the fence had rubbed through the skin - and I hope it will save to be edible. I put salt into the cuts on Mark's reccommendation - I think that was a good idea. If it is not good inside I'll have learned a lesson.


the Jarrahdale and a few Connecticut Field pumpkins


I also tried to make blueberry muffins last night with some pumpkin thrown into them - and the recipe worked, but the imitation blueberry boxed stuff did not give a good flavor to the pumpkin... real blueberry might be different. Can you tell I got my pumpkin cookbook in the mail? "Pumpkin, a Superfood for All 12 Months of the Year" by DeeDee Stovel. It has a lot of interesting combinations, but some of the recipes only call for pumpkin in a glaze or a frosting... There are a LOT of recipes in the book, though, and it is inspiring even without pictures of every recipe. Also, to have a basic pumpkin bread and pumpkin pie recipe with other things in a handy book (not computer printouts) made it worth it. There are a lot more pumpkins coming out of the garden and four small ones to use in the storage room.


a little damage on the sides
will see what it looks like when cut open

Sunday, August 07, 2011

I remember when.. bits

Coworkers were talking in the breakroom about 'I remember when' and this city we live in. I'm from another place, Grand Rapids, MN. Some of what they said spurred memories of my own from my childhood. They had a Ben Franklin 'five and dime' store here, and we did in Grand Rapids, too. Our next door neighbor Mrs. Arlene Tarbell worked there and my mom would bring me in to say 'hello' to her when we did our shopping. She worked in the basement area but I don't remember much about what she did there. When I was a child I envisioned her as a banker because of the little teller window she worked in - it might have been a bill paying office or a change office. My grandparents would often bring me in, as well and they would take my sister and cousin and I to the long lunch counter for ice cream and I would eat ice cream and look at toys and stare at the goldfish in the tanks for hours as they talked with other old folks. That is a memory from WAY back when I was younger than five - as my grandmother died about then and it had to have been before that or just soon after when my cousin still lived with my grandfather and grandmother.

There was a tiny elevator that went all the way upstairs to the 'loft' area - where the bedding and fabrics were sold. That elevator always reminded me of the elevator at the hospital. I believe they were the only two elevators I had ever seen in my life up to that point. I loved to go up there with my Mom and look through the bolts of cloth. My mom hated the elevator though, and she didn't want to take the stairs - so I had to beg very hard to get to go up there without needing something. My first sewing class in school we bought the fabric at the Ben Franklin. That must have been about 1992, and I do not think the store was open much longer after that. My sister and I would also buy little flocked bear toys at the checkout counter for 20 cents each, in different patterns and collect them. I still had a container of some of those bears in a box in my Mom's house, along with some other childhood treasures.

The other memory I have is riding our bicycles down to the M&H gas station which was a very long distance for us. We all had to go together or I could not go with, being the youngest by quite a lot. It was across the street from the Ben Franklin which must have been two or three miles from our house down the sidewalks of the major highway #38. When I was a toddler my mother had worked with a lady at Mickey's Diner named Reggie, and she was the clerk at the gas station by the time I was old enough to go with the other children on bikes. Sometimes she would talk to us over the loudspeaker from inside, before we even got up to the doors. We always thought that was amazing. We would save up our change to buy 20 cent candy cigarettes, bottle cap candy and sixlets - and buy soda in alumninum cans which was 'a big thing' in the early 80s, and I can remember it being as low as 40 cents a can. Reggie and the other clerks were usually patient as we counted out our pennies and nickels and dimes and coveted our quarters. We would buy cans of Squirt soda and dare each other to drink it all quickly because it was 'sour' and 'nasty.' We needed the quarters for playing Skeeball and other games at the 'Skill Mill' in the Central Square mall that most likely drove the Ben Franklin out of business.

All of these things were our 'downtown' and back when we were that age it was an important thing to be able to go do those things. I also remember being amazed at the tiny skywalk in the JCPenney store that connected it to the mall - it was originally on another street facing the Central School, near the Reeds drug store. Reeds was a big part of our childhood, as well - we would buy our school supplies there. There was a candy store in that mall with a mechanical statue of a cook stirring a pot. I used to stare at that because he always stopped for a moment, and then he would start again. That store sold 5 cent "peppermint sticks" in all flavors imaginable. We would buy a lot of those sticks and save them for later breaking off little pieces of root beer, green apple, lemon, lime, strawberry and blueberry and looking at the colors of our tongues in the mirrors in the stores. There was also the 'Two plus Two' jewelry accessories store - where we bought charm bracelets, got our ears pierced and all of the little 'hot' and 'cool' things my older sister knew about and had to have.  I bought my first piece of 'expensive' clothing in the JCPenney in sophmore year in high school - 35.00 for a cotton sweater that lasted from 1994 to 2006 when it was lost in my other possessions in moving from Minnesota. That sweater was still in almost perfect condition. They don't make much like they used to.

The Village Bookstore and the Perkins were in the mall, too. We would save money for books or ask the people at the desks to look up their big catalogs to see when books were coming out, as we could not do that by computer yet. Computers were still 'Apple IIe' and the Internet was unheard of. We would spend hours in the Perkins with our parents or grandparents or Uncle Jim if he was talking to Mom. Uncle Jim lived just a block away from the restaurant, so he and our aunt would walk over. It was a 'fancy' restaurant to us, and we had to be on best behavior or get stared at by everyone Mom and Grandpa knew and make them embarrassed. Sometimes I would get to sit with my sister and her friends when they hung out in the Perkins late at night because if you met the minimum bill as a group (cheese fries and drinks) they let you stay. Then about 1993 or so a girl was picked up from outside the Perkins by a stranger and killed - the first time that happened in our memories in our little town. It shook everyone up in the entire town. After that year our parents were MUCH tighter with us - I could not even ride my bike to the end of the road without an older sibling, even though that was nowhere near downtown.

Another restaurant in the town was the Frontier Cake & Steak, where my father worked as a fry cook when I was small. Thinking about the Perkins made me remember sitting there as well, in the little tiny booths and eating onion rings with my grandfather, peering up over the partitions to catch a glimpse of my dad in his white paper hat cooking. My father did not intend to stay there forever, he wanted to go back to school and he had met a waitress there... my memories of that time are very slim and sometimes even these ones I am writing about have been blocked in the overlap. My parents divorced, and there was a dark time in our house for months to a year where everyone was mad at everyone and everything and no one got along, we all just 'drug' along. My father moved to Iowa and I did not hear from him for five to eight years. We continued on, and life became Mom, Grandpa, my brother, sister, cousin and I for a while. Then my cousin went to live with the pastor for a while and his family, as my Grandfather felt a 'teenager' was too much for him and my Mom already had two herself. He was nearly like my brother, as well - so that was a little hard, but nowhere near as hard as it was on him.

//long trip down memory lane... ha

I wonder what Esme will remember in these lines when she grows up - going to Grandma and Grandpa's house, the library, the fabric counters at the stores and getting lollipops and chicken leg at the QMart in Bruceton. She will probably remember the bookstore in Jackson with all of its toys laid out in bins and stuffed animals in racks and pens and puzzles, as she already said 'it's you, we're back!' the last time we were there after having not been for months. And I know she will never believe her Mama ever did these things :)

Friday, August 05, 2011

July was a long busy month...

So long and busy, I'm adding a few days of August onto there because we were just too busy to realize it had overflown the calendar. Esme is potty trained. She understands, and we haven't used a diaper in many days. She is also happy about it, too. The garden is overgrown with grass, and I pulled a lot of it today. I found carrots - and brought them in. The field peas are all starting to put on two to three inch long pods that stick straight up on the vines, unlike the green beans, which hang down from the vines. The pole green beans are starting to produce, as well. There are pumpkins and squashes developing and new vines and leaves everywhere in that section. I have still been making 'garden soup' every few days and eating it at work. I've lost enough weight to really see it in the mirror, have been feeling it in the belt for a month.

The other night the lights went out and we were without power for seven hours. It was a very hard night for Mark. There was lightning everywhere, loud and bright through the large glass windows on all sides of the house. Esme and I were scared - her mostly because I was, but when all the lights went out she wanted me to put them back on. Earlier that night I had cut an ankle and she was scared of the blood - she thought 'mama dead' and then was very scared to let me anywhere near her for a bit until I showed her a band-aid is like 'duct tape' she plays doctor with her toys to 'make all better'. I think she thought I was a zombie because the more I came after her to show her it was alright the more she cried and tried to run... 'Walking Dead' is to blame, she saw some of at least one of those episodes months and months ago. Grandpa had to go to the emergency room for his eye, and Esme was further scared with Daddy out in the storm and 'Grandpa need fix, help Grandma fix him' and being alone with Mama with the lights out and Mama could not fix them. She pretended she was playing computer and sang the ABC song, then said 'click' 'ABC song' just like Starfall says it, then sang the song again. She tried to get me to read a book by candlelight.. and was very mad at me when I blew the candle out at midnight. She cuddled close against my back in the bed hugging Daddy's pillow and finally went to sleep. Daddy didn't get back with Grandpa until after 2 am, and the power didn't come back on until after 5 in the morning. Then Mark tried to use the chainsaw to remove some trees out of the road and it would not start. Trying to start the tractor, which was also being persnickety, he found some hornets which did not like him. Today has been much better for him, with lots of rest and relaxation. Grandpa is doing much better and he is ready to have his patch taken off his eye (cataract surgery) so everything has turned out good! We are all very happy about that.

Esme is dragging me outside to push her on the swing again...she wants to play ball, and air hockey table, and foam noodle swords and swinging and watering plants... keeping up with her lately is just a whirlwind of activity. I am still amazed when she slows down and uses her computer for a while.. keep looking over there and wondering when she is going to whirl into action again and drag me all over the house! She is just full of little surprises - like when she tucked her cookie rabbit toy into her pillow and blanket this morning after she got up (cookie rabbit needs to stay there, sometimes she even shoves her under the mattress to make sure she is there for bedtime), and the way she says she is 'exercising' and 'I a big and strong I brush teeth' etc... She is keeping her toothbrush in a little cup by the sink and pretending to use it ... may be making some progress... She is also watching the new Sims game Mark got for me to test out the graphics on the other computer -- the animations are such (or Esme is such) that Esme can recognize what they are supposed to be doing even when it is zoomed far out - 'He eat cupcake, she is making foods, he plays game' etc... sometimes I didn't even know what they were doing. She pointed out the kitchen of a restaurant in a 'downtown' area and said they were cooking... and I hadn't even noticed there WAS a kitchen in that corner of the screen!

Tuesday, August 02, 2011

notes


morning glories


Esme has been clean and dry for three days and two nights. That is no small feat. She has finally clicked with it. Last night and the night before she refused the diaper for bedtime, mostly because that MEANT bedtime, but she didn't wet the bed, either. I know it isn't 100%... won't tell myself it is, yet... but woohoo :)

Tiny notes on the garden. I would like to position the beans between the zucchini and pumpkins next year - so they get more bees. The bees LOVE the squash flowers with all their pollen and the beans are probably getting some 'love' but not as much. Keeping the zucchini and pumpkins further apart will help with that cross-pollination thing I learned about the other day. I did not know that zucchinis and pumpkins were still close enough to crossbreed, like dogs and wolves. They are! Since I am saving pumpkin seeds I don't want to end up with a squashkin .. or do I? I'd have to meet a squashkin to find out. Pumpkins ARE squash... so... Also, I saw the wasps going from flower to flower in the purple hulled peas, which the bees seem to be leaving largely alone. Those cowpeas are producing pods while the black eyed peas (also cowpeas, and planted earlier) are doing very little. I am wondering if the wasps are pollinating the purple hulled peas just enough (bees are better at it, according to the articles I've read) to help or if they are keeping the bees from coming near those plants out of territorialism? I've read some articles and forum posts about cowpeas secreting sweet nectars to attract wasps, in order to protect themselves from being eaten by certain other bugs that would be present if the wasps were not nearby.


Jarrahdale blue pumpkin


I am awaiting the Jarrahdale to see how it tastes. The stem on it is not hard, yet... so it stays out there. There is another baby pumpkin started, and one more small grapefruit sized one turning orange. I finally have a Butternut squash started - hoping it grows to maturity. I think the extra butternuts in the valley which are flowering, but not doing much else, have helped to pollinate the one that is in the garden. Butternuts and pumpkins/zucchini do not cross, and may need more of their own kind to pollinate well. I've been cracking and eating the seeds out of the big pumpkin and they have been wonderful. I'd like to try the Kakai or Lady Godiva breed of pumpkin next year as the seeds do not have that woody hull around them. I am geeking out a bit on this stuff.. because I can. I even ordered a used pumpkin cookbook from Alibris!


a morning Pollywog