time

It's not about actually seeing the sunrise, although that can be part of it, and it is a thing of beauty.  It is about watching the shapes become distinct objects, seeing color return where there was darkness and gray, about listening to the world in its entirety as the light changes over - the rain in the leaves, the wind, the birds and bats and bugs and all other animals that signal to each other as the light returns and the darkness lifts.  It is about delving deep into thoughts, connections, communication with the world and with this moment over years continuing forward and back.

thoughts

I'm finding I'm cooking a lot more (from mostly base ingredients), and needing more time to prep meals that I know will fit with the 'macros' I'm trying to reach.  I've been staying up in the mornings and/or getting up several hours earlier to have time to cook.  'Macros' is the term the fitness tracker uses for how much carbohydrate vs. protein vs. fat you have had during the day.  I'm consistently coming in about 60% fat, and 20-25% carb and 15-20% protein.

And I feel like I'm pulling off 'superman' days - which we used to do once a week or every other week - but now I'm doing it every couple of days.   I get lots of things done, my laundry and sweeping as well as the cooking and some exercise... Mark does the dishes.  And of course, still working full-time moving around all the vanities, showers, toilets etc.  I am keeping moving at work much longer each day, too - just keep finding something to do even though it involves climbing ladders and moving the equipment to get things down... I was climbing up and down the ladder with faucets over and over yesterday and knew that it was usually about that time I was exhausted and wishing it to be over -and it was still 'ok'.. just needed to get it done etc.

I do still feel very tired when I go to bed every night - nodding off at my language lesson etc... but I am staying up the entire day too - , very few days where there is an extra nap (partially because of the cooking, partially because I'm just naturally waking up early).  So, I'm tallying that up to more energy, more productivity...

It took until yesterday for my arms to stop telling me I'd killed them the other day.  I guess that means its time to go do the arm exercises again tomorrow.  I have tomorrow and the next day off.

Later:

I had another thought as to why I am impressed with this ketogenic (near ketogenic) diet.  This is one of the few times I have read something about a process my body SHOULD do, and it has actually been right in many of the details.  I have a long history of my body not following the 'norm' - in general yes, but not in the details.  Even when I was pregnant with Esme there were things that just didn't follow the 'normal' patterns - so wonderful to have had the people on the Australian mothering board that let me know everything was 'a kind of normal' they had heard about - just not the mainstream one in all the What to Expect books *heh*. 

What the diet book I read 'Eat Fat, Get Thin' said would happen on this diet is happening - the weight loss, the thirst, the bounceback, the change in cravings, and the energy.  And some of that was happening before I got to that part in the audio book - which was doubly interesting.  I feel like this is a system that works for my body type, which makes me more likely to stick with it.

There were peppers and tomatoes in my garden this morning!  A handful of small green peppers and three grape tomatoes.  For this late in the year (October 1st) it is amazing.  They must have liked the warmer weather after the rainy spell.  I am enjoying the tomatoes in my spinach and olive salad.

The blue morning glories I planted early in the garden season are also blooming in profusion.  The vine has been there all along, but it has chosen now to explode into these intense blue blossoms.  They are beautiful! 

They are even more intense in person. 

They caught me from across the entire yard and I had to go look at them.

 

Christmas morning surprise

This was the baby doll bed Mark and I made for Esme for Christmas.  It was based on a toy I had as a child - and he helped cut out the shapes from a board I brought home from Lowes.  This is as best as I can remember the paintjob and decals (we used a stencil) the original item was like 30 years ago.  Esme said it was a baby daycare and hospital.  It fits nicely on the shelving unit we store toys on and the two baby dolls (one old, one new with sleepy eyes) can fit together on it if they squeeze a little.

 Santa had found all of the things on Esme's simple wish list, plus a jack-in-the-box, 

but she was smitten by the intricacy and accessories of the baby set. 

 The baby doll 'refilling' bottles were a hit.  She had forgotten she asked for them and 

had to thoroughly check them out.

 I found Mark an rc racecar and they played with it a bit and scared the cats.

The big dotted ball was something she had asked for, too.

Extra large plastic dinosaurs say RAR 

and attempt to make off with chocolate bars (not shown)

A bit later we will take Grandma her presents and visit.  Mark also gave me enough canned food to last until next year - all the things he doesn't eat, and a can opener because my can opening skills are laughable.. especially considering how often I attempt the task.  There was also a glue gun for projects and bags and bags of dried beans.  I gave him some cashew butter and candies and nuts I thought he would like - and the racecar. 

The other big hit wasn't a Christmas gift at all - they are playing Goat Simulator, a pc game where the main character is a goat and goes through the town like Grand Theft Auto and tears things up for points... there is even a rollercoaster and a castle. 

 speaking of castles - this princess castle tent Grandma gave her immediately became the home for her new dolls and she spent a lot of time in it setting everything up and putting out toys and eventually putting her babies to sleep in their bed.  She told me she was in the middle of a beautiful garden that had tigers - her cat Pumpkin - just outside so she needed to keep the babies safe in the castle so they grew up to be Queens.

Esme this morning

First thing out of bed she notified me she was wearing her purple pants and that her drink cup was on the floor need to fill it up. Then on the way to the changing table she stopped in her tracks and said 'ooooooooooooo poor kitty! you are WET' to Ninja cat, who we smeared salve on her neck last night. She is getting much better, but not all the way yet. Then she told me I had blue shoes on - and wanted to know how that happened. I dug these out of the back seat of the truck yesterday when we unloaded some things. They are identical to the yellow house shoes I have worn every day except they are blue - and I wore them out to the car one day six months ago when we were in a hurry and changed them while Mark was driving.

Then she wanted a purple shirt, because she had purple pants. I said we had a cow shirt, and she could wear that. She decided that was okay. She watched 'cat and mouse' while I made some ramen noodles for my breakfast and got her some applesauce. 'oooohh apple jack bowl HOT noodle?' she asked me. (apple jack bowl means 'cereal bowl that usually has apple jacks in it') She said she liked the applesauce better so 'eat mumum eat hot noodle.'

Now she is across the room telling Bunny Dog she is 'so cute' and 'I like you Bun Dog' and trying to use her as a trampoline. Poor dog.. she is okay at the moment and I'm trying to discourage that... but at risk of losing my noodles. She said she was all done applesauce 'ooooh what that? (point at my bowl) a spoon. I eat. *drag noodle up off spoon and play with springiness*'

All this and she has only been up for a half-hour.