spurts and attitude

We talk about spurts, both cognitive and physical growth spurts, in Esme's group often. I have to say she is in a spurt, although an oddly timed one. She has been saying things to me like 'I understand the rules now, Mom' and 'I promise I can do it' and other things that are another level up for her. She has picked up little random skills in fine motor. But, she has also been in a terribly disagreeable mood for days going on a week. She has forgotten her courtesy words lately and has been craving and demanding me to play with her and only with her instead of doing tasks or chores.

Really bad attitude changes are parts of spurts. We know this, and know they will not (usually) last, especially if due diligence is paid to correcting the behaviors. During a cognitive spurt lots of things are happening - and it is opportunity for learning as much as it is a display of new things they are already learning.

The night before last Esme, in her spurt disagreeableness, was very upset about my going to bed early. This is my early weekend shift rotation - so I need to go to bed much earlier than she is ready for. She can stay up - if she is good and allows me to sleep. She was beating her fists on my legs and pushing me, crying and growling at me she did not want me to go to bed. She stood by my bedside and growled some more at me - only running off to her bed when Daddy rose from his chair to come see why I was talking sternly to her and she was yelling at me. She dove into her bed and was asleep very quickly but with a tear soaked pillow.

She has also been getting in trouble for having Daddy put a movie on, putting it on 'pause' with the remote and never coming back to it for more than a few minutes at a time. Daddy has been turning it off completely on her and she has been upset about not being able to fix it.

We had a 'talk' yesterday about these things and about what it means to be 'big and strong and GOOD'. I told her she was growing up but she had to be a GOOD girl and say her please and thank you and not 'play' with the TV like that, and help instead of throwing fits if she wanted to have privileges like helping me with my seed collection, playing ball, making things etc etc... She seemed to agree with these things and listen some to what I was saying but not intently. She likes to try to change the subject in these circumstances.. but I repeated what I meant and after she said 'ok' only then did we go on to the next thing.

Later that night I was getting ready to go to bed early again, and she was winding up for her fit. I told her it was up to HER if she was going to be a big girl and help or be a baby and cry and be sent to bed. Daddy reiterated that, and offered that she could watch his dragon game even if Mom (who had been playing ball with her) was going to bed. She thought it over and then took me by the hand, marched me to bed, pulled down my covers and said 'this looks like a good spot for you, sleep well' and blew me a kiss. OK, that seems to have worked much better. Daddy said she watched dragon game beside him until she was nearly falling off her chair and then went and crawled into her bed without much fuss.