this is how we do it

 

 

the spider plant I brought to work in September as a tiny clipping - it is growing well at work and I am remembering to keep it watered

My theory of 'triage' alarms - which I know just look 'insane' to anyone else -  where I keep myself in check for what I should be doing and when.

I have a few extra ones for clock-in time at post office on Saturday and Sunday as well, which are not shown.  Several of the ones above are designed to wake me up so I don't sleep all night in one position or without drinking some water - because both of those things are very bad for me.  

When you are hypermobile and really fall into sleep, things seem to 'migrate' joints wise and I have woken up before and realized that I was sleeping with an ankle or knee bent completely wrong and it didn't hurt at all until I tried to move it.  Waking up and turning over a lot during the night keeps things from overstretching or falling into 'sublux' and staying there too long (as long as I keep in 'near sleep' and don't like get up and bake a cake or play a video game for hours etc. (turning on screens generally isn't great)).

I begin to turn myself over back and forth and check elbows and shoulders and knees and ankles etc at 4:45 although I usually don't actually get all the way up until about 5:15.  Every time I sleep five or ten minutes on the snooze alarm and turn over something else goes CRACK/CLICK and eventually it centers back where it should be to function.  The one bad thing about having this routine is that the dogs and cats know it and actually will try to wake me up a minute or so before the alarm - which can make it hard as they want me to get up out of bed immediately and go let them in or out (or out, then in) and I do have to be careful especially on the stairs especially if that left ankle is the one being 'uncooperative'.

All of this operating an uncooperative skeleton also really tires me out and I do good by myself when I can and just fall asleep when it is possible, instead of waiting for when it is 'proper'.  So sometimes I might fall asleep before I complete some of the important tasks, or be too tired to remember to do them until I've slept a few hours.  And if I wake up at 1:45 and realize my phone isn't plugged in, or I didn't start the dryer, or don't remember where the keys are - that gives me that much more time to right that problem before it is 'crunch time' of actually getting to work on time.  And then, even then, I leave more than a half hour early beyond the time I think it will take to get to work, just in case.. or I plan to, but sometimes I still have that 5 more minutes that needs to be done, feed chickens, unfreeze water dishes, etc.. and that built in cushion helps a lot.

I worked all through last weekend at the post office, helping out with Amazon Sunday for the first time in weeks, and they want me to do that again this weekend.  We went out for our groceries and got Christmas dinner items tonight after I got home from the office job.  I haven't paid so much at the grocery store in years... although we did some stocking up.

Languages : mostly Japanese, a little Czech.  I am still a bit annoyed with the Czech voice app but if I can get a bit more 'brain' I might do some more on it.  I really like the Japanese reading/story app still. 

Quests for Humans

 It's been busy weeks - on top of busy weeks.  The cold let up a little - we're getting some rain but hopefully no ice overnight.  Got the little car's heater fixed.  Mark had his birthday - I gave him some clothing and some candy that Esme and I had picked out when we got propane one day.  He watched a lot of the cartoons and movies he likes - and ordered some things for his computer that is only just now arriving.  

It doesn't feel like Christmas will be here in a few weeks.  I've only bought a few things and to be completely honest - I never even took the little tree down last year. It's still up from LAST YEAR.  But it does need to be taken down and cleaned and the lights replaced and put back up.  If I can figure out time that I have ambition that isn't used for making dinner and laundry and existing.  I've come home and just sort of collapsed on the couch for a while and not been very conversational a few times.  That isn't really my style - It's been a bit like the epitome of 'flattened'.. edging back towards human at the end enough to eat and talk.  Usually my style is to come home and eat a huge pile of food and chat way too much until I deflate from the anxiety of the day and then ease back down from the high-tension end of the slide into normal.  I've had fewer of the 'keep doing what needs doing but anxiety of single being in a single timeflow with multi-dimensional timeflow thoughts that I can't process so I stick them down in the box all day until it overflows' type of days.  But I'm not sure if this is better or not - the 'I've kept doing all that needed doing but my 'brain box' is only full of dead space - no brain, no thoughts, just 'stop' or 'go' and now that I've stopped I'm flattened' feeling is a bit worse.  I guess other people would explain that as : 'I'm tired'.  But I guess that is proof I do still have those multi-dimensional thoughts when I start to think about it... when I'm not so tired.

Today I pushed on and after work went to the bank (hard quest, it closes less than a half hour after I get out of work, about a half hour drive away from bank), feed store (also closes an hour after bank does, but only fifteen minute drive away from bank), then another store for Mark and the grocery store, and then home.  I am really glad the little car made it through all those stops.  When the mail truck was having trouble with its battery that was an ever-increasing anxiety making multiple stops without running the truck long enough to charge the battery in between.  Quests for humans, indeed... with difficulty settings.

Not to mention it gets dark so early now.  And is extremely dark and cold and sometimes icy in the mornings.  It could be worse.  I don't want it to be.  Boss was ranting to me about somebody taking days off and going to be fired for missing work - and I told her my anxiety stack is still on all the ice days of previous years and I can't say one word one way or the other about anyone else because I'm just doing my best to be there every day and anxiety about what will happen if/when the weather changes.  She tried to assure me that I can't control the weather.  Yea.  That is what worries me.

I called all of our errands and my work days 'quests for humans' the other day to Esme - as she helped us get groceries with Grandma, and propane.  I told her it feels like that sometimes, like ticking off parts on some video game quest until you get all the bits done - but then it's just done for that day, and it rolls back around the next day starting all over again.  I had a very very busy postal route the other day, but not so much I couldn't get it done.  I'm wondering what this weekend will be like - Christmas packages et al.  This is the time of year they used to call in some help.  I used to be that help, on the weekdays - but now I am at the office job during the week.  Last Saturday they said that they were surprised I finished it all without needing help, but I said I didn't know they were providing help yet, so I pushed through and got it done - by continuously telling myself during the day : 'It's not going to help to sit here and stare at it - up, onward, get it done' over and over until it got done.  Thus: the quests for humans.  There is a book I keep seeing that is close to that name but it isn't quite the same emotion.

And I feel like my hips, knees, ankles, fingers and wrists are all clicky at the moment - it could be worse, don't want it to be.  It's like my muscles are made of toothpicks bound together with lots of rubber, and the toothpicks are clicky and shifting around and hoping they don't break.  I am glad the weather has been good - hope that continues to be.  Just keep getting home from work, dinner, head to bed after a bit.  I played the game a few days (Sims 3) and it still feels like I've just wasted most of that time.  I discovered how some things work again - without going and looking things up - but still, it got nothing done in the real world.

I've sent out several copies of my Mikki Mack book to people - sold one locally, and still need to find a way to get the rest of the stack to the local gallery.  They are open later on Fridays (or, at least they used to be) so I might have to take up that 'quest for human' mentality and just push push to have that be something I want to get done so I make sure it gets done.  At the office job that is how I make things work - just push push and when I stop to breathe for a minute line up the next stack.  Same thing with the postal route.  Same thing with lots of things, it's the only way I keep the balls in the air.  I'm just still adjusting to that weird feeling of stopping and there isn't new material coming in from all sides of my brain that has nothing to do with the task at hand or minimal tangents.  It's like missing an old friend that don't hardly get any time to spend with, except the old friend is my creative side which is asleep in a chair in the corner.

Languages - lots of Japanese.  A little bit of Czech.  Not a lot else.  The Japanese on my highest Duolingo profile is actually getting into new words FINALLY.... why has it taken so long?  It really has.  And I do like the little yomu yomu app that has short conversations or stories to listen to.  The Czech language app is a bit annoying in that it is supposed to recognize your speech and there are so many things I cannot come close to pronouncing (acc. to the app) but yet I feel like I understand them and am saying them as best I can. 

The cold, and my book came!

We had a nice Thanksgiving, but the cold has started to set in now.   The cold has been really sapping me - I'm just coming home and after having dinner and doing anything really necessary, diving under the covers for hours and then getting work done the next day, same thing... Friday I think it was barely 6:30 pm.  Sunday we went out and got groceries and propane and a few other things done, but still - spent a few hours in a big coat at my computer but then still went to bed before 8 pm.   There were snow flurries on my way home tonight, and I also saw a big bald eagle in a field on the side of the road.  The defroster in the little car has not been working, but it is trying to overheat - so we will have to try to figure out how to check and add coolant tomorrow.

I've been doing Japanese and Czech languages, including speaking and listening practices.

My little cat book came in the mail finally - I had requested printing of it weeks ago in a small quantity.  It is simple and sweet and I am glad that it finally became 'real'.  I love that the drawing No Tell made for me goes all the way across the back of the cover, showing off Mikki Mack's glorious long fluffy tail (as it is described in the story).  The rest of the drawings inside are black and white and were done by me in the GiMP program just quickly to have the flavor of what I wanted.  No Tell was too embarrassed by how much I loved their drawing!  I still do.  

 

 

Mikki Mack, the quite pretty small gray cat with the gloriously long fluffy tail!

am a tro, what a day

 Last night when I was actually getting ready to go to bed (at 7:30, because I was already overtired and hoping to sleep well) the mechanic called and said to bring the car down to get the window fixed.  So, we did... and then this morning we went to town to get lumber and groceries.  I did make myself a good egg omelet with seaweed and arugula and hot peppers, hot pepper cheese and spices.  I feel I haven't been eating very well the last two months but it could be worse... and I have been feeling more absentminded, which I hope is from being overtired and not having as much free time to do the things I was used to doing.   And I played with a few language lessons this afternoon and then some more Sims (which, I'm still on the fence if that is any good for me...it sucks up time and I still wonder if I could get more out of baking or making lunch for the next day or this or that...) and then the mechanic called again and said the window was fixed and to come get the car.  So, we did...  that cost a bit more than I expected, but at least it's done.  After that, made dinner and did laundry and am getting ready to go to bed early again tonight to get up early tomorrow.  Am a tro, what a day, and that is a day 'off'....  

 I studied some Latvian today as well as the Japanese.   I felt proud of myself when I did the 'phone numbers' Latvian lesson where you listen to the string of numbers being read off and either put them in as you hear them or correct a series of questions where the number is written down incorrectly.  Both were hard in their own way, especially since I didn't review the numbers from my last bout with the language months ago and just dove in.  'Nola' is zero, by the way - that was the only one I couldn't sort after hearing them again for the first time in months.  Some of the numbers are almost the same as in many other Indo-European languages, but the word for eight is unique.  The teen numbers remind me of Czech, not the same words, but a similar form - but then, the 'teen' in all of the English ones is a similar relatable pattern that I don't think of easily, because I'm just too used to it.

I played with the Bern Istaba, a Latvian children's website to see if I could remember a lot of the basic words I learned there.  It was a good review, as well.

Did some more of the yomu yomu Japanese story app that reads the story to you while you read the text on the screen (in Japanese hiragana/kanji) and the subtitles (in English) side by side.  Sort of like a dual-language reader, which I had a few of back when (high school / college), in German as paperback books.   I like that quite a bit... am wondering if the language is 'stilted' vs what a real Japanese story would be to make it simpler for beginners.  It was quite repetitive.. which seemed unnatural - but I understood 75% of it and learned some new words with every chapter.  That's the sweet spot.

I browsed around the internet a little to look at the costs of some of the other language sites.  I would like to take a course in Latvian, but there aren't a lot of good ones out there.  Duolingo has a lot of courses - 40 or more, but it doesn't have Latvian or Lithuanian.  We do have the Transparent language learning free with our library cards here in our area - it's just been a while since I logged onto it.  It had Latvian!

fast forward friday

 It's cold.  The window in the little car decided today was a day to stop working - and it's electric, and without whatever broke while it was sitting in the driveway overnight, it won't go up all the way and it won't stay up, either.  The mechanic has ordered a part for it.  My keyboard is acting funny in the cold, as well, all of a sudden.  And because it is this cold - I really just want to go to bed and stay in bed until I have to go to work tomorrow.

Finished reading 'Lessons in Chemistry', (by Bonnie Garmus, fiction book) which I had set aside a few months ago - well, more like six months ago.  But it was good to finish it.

Saw some language polyglot person in a post that said they learned 'conversational' level in 15 languages over the course of a year.  Yea... probably not, especially looking at that list of languages they posted.  However, my idea of 'what is conversational' is probably higher level than most people would think.  I am thinking he means the absolute basics, hello, goodbye, how are you, where is the restroom 'survival' phrases.  

I think 'toddler level language' - to be 'conversational' you should be able to speak simply about what you need, want and think about things - as all the questions, understand numbers, have a good handful of adjectives, place names (library, bank, rooms, park etc.) and other nouns.  You should also understand at least half of what a speaker might answer back to any of your conversational / survival questions enough to get the information.  But maybe they consider that a higher level?  

 I would say I am 'adequate' in maybe 6 languages, and that is a much higher level than what I just said, able to read newspapers and watch tv, along with being able to read more although I might still check a dictionary on an uncommon word or to check the right form of the word to use.  I could say I am 'conversational' (my description above) in up to 11 or 12, and that I have a 'bare basic' of I know some key phrases and recognize even more words but my grammar definitely wouldn't be able to hold water in a conversation in about twenty different languages, total).

 Although this has taken a lot more than 15 months - and many more resources than a single app or class course each - I'd say I'm at 8 years on focusing on the Welsh and French (2017 when I discovered Duolingo those were the two I focused on), scattered amounts of Japanese and German from many stops and starts, and 3 to 4 years on many of the others as I really began my push in 2021 for Czech and Romanian and restarting Japanese - then added the others as I continued and while I was taking that Comparative Linguistics class at the online university course. 

That course had me look at Finnish, Greek, Irish, Latvian, Turkish, Zulu and Hungarian to get an idea of the structure differences of all of the different language families.  I tried Norwegian, Swedish, Danish and Dutch to compare them specifically against Finnish and German.  I beat my head on Spanish, all by itself, for three or four months exclusively and then found Catalan, and Portuguese were both easier for me (through French similarities) and still have trouble with responding in Italian, although I understand it okay, the Spanish and the French both get in the way there.  I took a Russian A1 course this year because I was watching videos of a lady training big cats that she spoke to the in Russian.  I also though it would help me with Cyrillic letters for learning Bulgarian, as an offshoot of getting fairly good with Czech. - but I  can't say I'm conversational in that. I also took the first few levels of Chinese on Duolingo to support learning Kanji in Japanese when I moved from 'studying this a little' to 'actually understanding this and needing to go deeper now.'

I had a dream the other night that I was opening up a letter that said I was being published for a book that I have not yet written or even thought of.  I 'remembered' the book in the dream and it was so complete and funny and it could work - and then it fell apart like sand through my fingers as I pulled myself awake.  That happened once before with a detective story, as well - which I only got half of it down on paper before I couldn't remember it anymore.  I guess we'll see if I can get started on this idea, but with it being cold and working six days a week - maybe I'll need even a bit more inspiration or enough time with a notebook to lay it out.

I had gotten Esme a Christmas present coming in the mail because last year I waited too long and missed it - it was out of stock for months, and then I finally got her one of the versions, but not the one she really really wanted (She still said she liked the version she did get).  Well I got it early, and we decided to just give it to her early and let her enjoy it for the extra month instead of waiting for it under the tree and maybe it wouldn't even work (it was a game cartridge).  It worked.  She is happy.  She has this weekend to play it and then Thanksgiving break next week for a few days, as well.

it's been a long week and it's Tuesday

 It's gearing up to that again, it's been a long week and it's only Tuesday.  This is because I did the post office on Saturday and then went out to the store on Sunday and I really could just crash now after dinner and take a nap.  But there is laundry in the washer, and I need to get it to the dryer.  When that gets in the dryer I'll probably head off to bed.

The two trucks that were supposed to come in today both had mishaps, and are going to have to limp in tomorrow.  So I sat without a lot to do this afternoon except phone calls, mail and email - and fighting the eyelids that wanted to droop.  Ran out to the feed store after work, because there's no time like the present etc... even though I would have liked to have taken a nap even then.  Driving in the sun around 3 o'clock in the afternoon in November here is vicious - there is nowhere to look that isn't bright as blazes etc. 

I've let both of my Japanese Duolingo leader boards slide a bit - dropping to Pearl and Amethyst.  But then that is also doing only Japanese, and I haven't broken my streaks, just not doing as much xp as was usual for me before.  There's a twinge there of 'hey, go do some Latvian', but here I am writing a blog post, instead, with my little black cat sitting by my side.

 My Mikki Mack books should be coming sometime - and I'm going to give a few of them away.  They were inspired by a few different people, which, sadly, one of the elderly gentlemen passed away recently.  I had given him an idea the character in the book was based on him and his little cat, but with stories and characterizations from other cats I've known.  I saw an old work friend at the store the other day and he has had a few sad things in the past few years, as well.  He gave his regards for Daphne, as he knew her from a little pup, as well. I think I'll drop one of the books off at their desk at the old store with a note that the character is based off Mr. Art - because they'll recognize that.