My divorce was supposed to be settled yesterday, April the 5th. My lawyer had received back the card for the serving of the papers and as of the morning of the 4th the case was set for default on the 5th, as Jesse had indicated he had no lawyer and would not be contesting. (this was told me via my lawyer's office at 10 am on the 4th of April - by an assistant)
However. at 4:00 pm that same day, the assistant called me back. They had just been notified that Jesse HAD retained a lawyer, and WOULD be contesting the divorce. However, they had no other details until next week.
We are sitting here thinking - What more could he possibly want? He has everything, except me - and I'm not going back. There is nothing in the law that says I have to live with him against my will, even if we are married. He has Willow and Sally, the vehicle, the furniture, all but 900.00 of the money that was in our savings account when he moved. He had called me and asked for that to be sent to him - but that money went to pay my lawyer, as he had chosen to leave it.
He has the wedding ring, even if he doesn't know it. It was in the top drawer of our dresser when I left that morning. He had called and asked for it. He also wants my engagement ring back - which is being kept at my mother's house in Minnesota. He was told he could have it if and only if he returns the family photos that are in a box marked 'Rhe's photos' that he took with when he moved. After he called for money a second time the lawyer suggested a temporary restraining order could put an end to that until the divorce had been settled. The last time I had personally spoken with Jesse he had said that all of the boxes were still unsorted and he didn't know if or when he would get to unpacking. I told him he could leave anything of mine at my mother's house or garage, wherever it would be safe.
He has called the business (Mark's father's) that we worked for several times trying to get more money for insurance and worker's compensation. That was about three weeks ago. I really can't see how he can afford up to a thousand dollars for a lawyer and hope to get something out of it. This is especially unlike him, considering how reluctant he is to part with money, except for things he wants for his own enjoyment. He would hesitate, when we were together, to spend thirty dollars for a necessary doctor's visit but spend freely on books or other toys.
I'm not asking him for alimony, or charging him with abuse or adultery, or asking for half the estate, or even for court costs. There are several things I have record of that I could charge - but I wanted this to be nice and simple, with as little upset and nastiness as possible. The lawyer filed the cause for divorce as 'inapporpriate marital conduct' - the near-equivalent of a no fault divorce for Tennessee, but without the automatic division of everything down the middle.
What can he stand to gain, except a little extra time and pain for himself? Does he want a chance to play the victim? How? It is annoying me a little, if annoying me is his goal - but there is much more here to attend to than the chance that we go to court on the 5th or the 25th to settle this. In fact, this is my opportunity to make certain the judge knows I want that box of photos and albums and a few other things that were left behind. Before, I just wanted it to all be quickly severed and done. I can take a little extra time to make sure these items are returned to me, if he is going to 'force a fight.'
As far as I can tell, I have no assets he could want or possibly hope to get. I am lucky to be able to pay my student loan once a month, with help from friends. The only thing I have title to is half of our truck - which he was told he could have. I asked my lawyer to remove my name from the title of that truck as part of the proceedings. My lawyer says he has to have some benefit (financial or otherwise) to contesting the divorce, or Jesse's lawyer would not take the case. So, whatever his pipe dreams are - I'll have to wait until next week to find out.
4 comments:
Maybe to hurt and inconvenience you? It doesn't sound as if he's the most stable person. Hang in there! I'm just really sorry to hear that this isn't all over.
I am so sorry to hear about that! I hope it's solved quickly!
I'm in a situation right now, similar, but not. The other person is being difficult just to be difficult...just piss me off... Some people are like that, and there isn't much you can do. It's unfortunately, but it seems to me that you have been very resonable, and a judge will see that too. It's just a pain.
This happened to me as well, my ex just wouldn't give up. Even after the divorce he would come over and "visit" me and my then fiance'. I think he was hoping that I would change my mind. When he would demand something-I would just make a counter demand. Perhaps that is what you will have to do. Heck ask for Sally and Willow back! Ask for Alimony. You may not want it, but it would give you leverage-cause he won't want to pay it. Men are more attached to their money on the whole than they are to their wives. Sorry that is just my experience.
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