Sunday, November 20, 2011


It has been a whole week since I brought Esme and Grandma up to Hazel. Can you believe that? I am having trouble wondering where all that time went. I worked all week... *sigh* I was feeling really stressed out, lots of little things building up including a lot of changes/demands/general chaos at work etc... And then Esme started to develop her cough. I stopped on the way home last night and picked up strawberry applesauce, juice she likes and eucalyptus vapor bath for her. I have today and tomorrow off to try 'Mommy medicine' on her and see if it helps. Then the chaos begins again.

Admitting the stressed out trend to Mark helped some in itself. There are several families at work that have had recent catastrophes - terrible things, and I was trying to convince myself that I didn't 'have the right' to be stressed in the face of such other tragedies. But, well... yes I do. I need to try to equalize it a little before it turns into a larger tumbleweed down the line. And I am trying. Mark met me at the door with food and coffee that night after the late shift... before I had even admitted I was stressed... which helped a lot. *thank you*

Seasonal stress on top of regular work stress and my-baby-is-sick but-I-have-to-be-at-work mama hen stress... have to step back and settle down and try to prioritize. Not shove under the carpet, just set my mindset straight. I have felt for the past month (and the new work demand schedule didn't help AT ALL) that things were slowing down at work and becoming a latent source of worry... people just aren't biting that fish, they are waiting until after the holidays. And then they go and release a 'demand schedule' on us (not their words,can't use their words) of things we have to meet and when. *growl* Oh well. I can't do that, it is a pipe dream and it isn't even mine - so... no dice. But, there are other things in my life that I'm worried about I can make progress on. That is where I need to focus.

Some small accomplishments this week that made me feel a little better: crocheted a hat that fits me very well. It was a small thing but something I saw was needed and it helps to see a need and fill it. Now, Esme can have last year's knit hat to herself that I did find in the junk box. Washed Esme's warm coat and it is ready for any further outings. Fixed the dog water dish that was overflowing - the valve had been installed inside upside-down and it just took a little tools and fussing to get it right. Then the hose needed to have the clamps taken off and put back on tighter... now no leak. I'm working on a few other little knitting things but nothing that will be done soon. Wondering what else I can give Esme for food or drink that might make her feel better - trying to "stress" to her *ha* to stay in my bed under my covers and watch some tv instead of running around like a little maniac and/or hanging out near the puppies. She is watching Aristocats right now.

Note to Grandma: Thank you again for the button up shirt for Esme's birthday, and the socks. They were both so very right for her.. she is wearing that shirt the past few days over her dress and it is keeping her warmer.

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