run by posting
I got a call on my voice mail the other day from my dad - saying my mom is not doing well again... she is in the hospital and they are running more tests. She was very tired when I spoke to her a few days before that - could not stay awake. I have been trying not to think about that, in truth. I still have thought some about it - about how she has not seen Esme and I should do that to be a good daughter, but how dangerous the last trip was and not wanting to put Esme in that danger... feeling torn but Mama Bear at the same time. It is hard. And there is always work, and then 'recovery' from work, and work again... this was my seven day straight week and I am glad that it is done. I have buried myself in my books and have also been playing Skyrim with Mark and Esme fighting dragons and vampires and sneaking around the countryside in the game with my bow and arrow, which is very satisfying.
Esme is doing very well, happy - learning about lots of things and was very happy to advance to a new 'see behind your head' car seat in our truck ;) She was very proud of it, and being able to see more things. This morning she and Mark drove me to work and she said the sun was on the ground - it was just rising for the day. She commented on that a lot all the way to work. She was reading a lot of signs today in traffic and in the store - she is picking things up pretty well. She was out with Mark all day long and they came to pick me up afterwards, at which time we bought her a toy at the store - a Nerf type soft dart gun - which she found a small toy dog at our house and rammed it inside the barrel -- almost ruined it but Mark fixed it. I have no idea why she thought that was a good idea... I even heard her talking about the toy dog going in there but it never dawned on me until too late what she was actually saying she was about to do...
I am laying out fabric for a few days of sewing - Esme picked out some ladybug fabric she wanted at the store. There is also a good store of fabric still left from the box Sharon gave to me which has come in handy for several pairs of pants this past week. I have some red gingham and plain red for a possible dress, some red with thin white lines that could nicely become a raglan robe coat (like her fish one) and several other fabrics that can become pants. There is that yellow, red and green gingham I bought last year for a dress but have not yet brought myself to make -- as if I am saving it for something special? Or maybe because it is just so much yellow... the plaid reminds me of what my Mom dressed me in for my Kindergarten school picture, it was like something out of the 1950s.... I wondered again if I would still be making Esme's clothing for Kindergarten coming up... and I find that I really don't know and probably won't until it happens. The last few days she has been wearing the dress tops I made in November, and they are still fitting well. She tried on the velvet dress she wore at Halloween (store bought handmedown) and it barely fit at all..