Dreams, Patterns and Scraps

I know it's weird, and the last thing I should be thinking of right now - with Bazooka coming in a month - but sometimes I still feel like I failed Salamander and Willowpede. Sometimes I still dream that they are 'talking' to me in their way, just slight moments that actually stir me from sleep... and I know that sounds weird... Usually I just think it's one of our girls here, Mouse or Pogo, transferring into older memories.

I dreamt last night that I found Sally huddled in a very cold cupboard, she jumped out and was purring and happy to see me. She was lemurish, with her bright eyes and curling tail. As I was sitting with her, Willow came up (with her very distinctive thick furry neck) and also got into my lap. I looked at them both and rubbed them between their ears and down their necks and the dream slipped away. It was two a.m. when I woke up - and both Mouse and Pogo were outside hunting - so it wasn't them messing with my dreams. I know Sally and Willow are okay because a search that came into my site 'Sally says life is so hard' linked up with another picture's text on Flickr - not mine - which showed them in April, safe and sound. :( Dreams are just dreams :(

In the Workshop
I'm working on making my toy patterns more suitable for the sewing machine. A few months ago I was contacted for a book inclusion and even though that lady hasn't talked to me since then it is still a very good idea. We might even see about just making our own little 'booklet' with the local printing place - of about 8 to 10 patterns with instructions.

a bit of writing I was thinking up the other day...

Scraps

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My mom used to collect scraps of everything she thought was useful. There was the bag of fabric scraps, for quilts that never got made (until I started sewing). There was the bag of 'left socks' that never got matched up. There was the box of paper and ribbon scraps, for making cards. There was a huge box of pennies, that got cashed in once a year. There were meat and grease scraps for making weekly stew and gravies.. (which did get used). Leftovers from the fridge were thrown together into hotdishes every couple of days. I was always taught to keep the scraps just in case they make up to something.

My mom said it was the 'Dutch in us' (not sure where she got that from) - the kind of attitude where you lick the bowl and spoon after mixing a cake. Often her scrap-saving ways would pay off, but just as often there would be mass-cleaning days, which were very stressful, where Mom wanted to 'get rid of everything.' I get some of that from her too - and it's a good explanation of why I clean when I'm stressed.

I haven't been doing as much of that since I've been with Mark, cleaning while stressed that is - I do clean, just not in that hurried 'I'm worried about everything - everything must be clean to make it better' sort of way. I always hated that habit, even AS I was doing it. For a while there, knitting was that kind of habit as well. I would churn out a dishcloth every day - or more, and it was a way of defocusing on what was upsetting me and making the stress into something productive. I don't knit as much as I used to either - but I do sew. Sewing isn't quite the same - it is like drawing, productive and ever-changing, keeping my focus on the project - not letting my hands go over the same repetitions over and over while my mind goes blank.

Not to say I'm giving up knitting - but yes, it has taken a back seat to my sewing simply because of this natural tendency.

Yesterday I took a good hard look at my fabric scraps. I'm always moving so quickly from project to project - it's hard to realize how fast they accumulate. They pile up in corners, and in bags - and soon you're wondering 'What in the world am I going to do with this?' I've made a few of the bassinet quilts out of scraps from the stuffed animals - and started throwing all the smallest pieces away. I guess I'm not so very frugal as my mom - but my workspace looks a lot cleaner!