I'm having the white room feeling again... that one where I want everything to revert to something simple, orderly and unobstructed.. to exist without chaos.. in a totally white cube of space. But today the feeling is more 'green room'...or a room of Summer... I'd like to have a room open unto summer, green fields, warm sunlight, bubbling water...and be able to spend time there in a warm Nature environment until my stress melts away.
Inventory at work is making this chaotic feeling - everything you do is futile, but you'd better do it all and do it fast and do it well so they can destroy it again a few minutes from now, okay? Actually they aren't destroying it half as badly as a few years ago. But there are still changes to the rules (don't downstock, okay downstock but only where there is no product...don't touch this, okay do... oh no this is totally wrong, no you didn't tell me about that (yes, we did), fix it fix it now.. oh, okay, it's alright, don't worry about it. //this is stress And I'm closing every night. And it's cold. And I just want to sleep the mornings away because it's warm in the bed and I'm not getting anything 'done'... which passes the 'futility' feeling to my home life and makes it worse.
It makes me feel like I really could be doing something better with my time, but what?
And being stressed out I can't really think of having MORE stress in trying to find something that fits my abilities better - because they fit this pretty good in all except the schedule and stress.. which, well, that adds up in waves over time.
Maybe I can just find a nice patch of sunlight tomorrow.
And not freeze to death while trying to enjoy it.
I really liked the Japanese garden at the museum - and that was such a warm day, if only we could bottle that and open a spa here in Paris that served up that on demand... or a holodeck.
Yea.. order me a holodeck for my next birthday ;) heh.