a few photos

 

goat out in the fenced in yard on a very cold morning

she is peeking out from behind the tree 

two dogs out there, too - but you can't see them laying down in the sun in the leaves

an elephant flower pot Mark made on his 3D printer, but he wasn't sure it would hold up to soil and water.  I'm not sure what else to use it for, but it is cute.  That is a tote bag I am crocheting in the background in the box

seared pork with lots of spices on it, and some zucchini added at the end, if I use a sharp knife and cut the meat up into shreds, I can eat it.  The zucchini wasn't quite done enough to mash, but I was able to eat some of it.

 

another picture of the same little goat from about a month ago, she is totally blind in one eye and can see some light in the other, she wasn't supposed to live past a few months old - they didn't think she could get past weaning onto solid food etc.. but she is over four years old now
 

Our unconventional Christmas tree, because when we had the hvac installed this summer the stand went missing and we cannot find it.  Didn't let it stop us - Mark and Esme both said 'Australian Christmas' without hearing the other one say it.  This is the same little tree and ornaments we have had forever, and it is on a switch so I can turn it off at night.

 

entras intrarea

 Cold, working through the anxiety and the dentures still hurt here and there.  I'm making sure to cook things I can eat - but so often I just want to get dinner done so I can take the teeth out, huddle in warm, and sleep for the rest of the night.  I am eating a good variety of vegetables, and making cake/loaf like mixtures to make sure there is something easy to bring with me to work.  I made a batch of peanut butter cookies, as well, which bears repeating.  I actually do have to work at having enough calories during the day.

 Took Grandma's little dog to the vet and got it spayed - and held it for a few days, to make sure healing was doing good.  Esme went to her college orientation session, and she had to do a few more things before next month.  She is trying hard to keep her math grade up because that is what her graduation hinges on.  

 Last week I had pulled my shoulder out badly somehow on the postal route - probably actually know the mailbox that did it - one of those that is too low and on the edge of a large ditch, so there is no doing it except pulling close and then leaning out the window awkwardly.  I did exercises but was still quite annoyed by it for two days - then one morning it just went 'click' again like a bungee cord being drug over another one, and it felt much better. I was worried it would be injured further by getting our propane cylinders, which we have to refill every few days and are very heavy and awkward.  So far, I haven't done anything worse to it taking those in and out of the car, but I'm aware of it.

 Doing Romanian lessons on both systems, somehow segued to that and I've kept at it.  We haven't went Christmas shopping yet, and I haven't put up the tree yet.  I did buy a few things for Esme last week that I need to wrap up - bought the roll of wrapping paper today.  It is going to be severe cold tonight - so we had put some insulation on Grandma's hydrant and ran the little car around a bit to make sure it has had a good charge.  I have hardly even been running it around the block much, because there is just too much going on and there are only so many hours in the day.  I ran it a good distance tonight.  Now dinner is in the oven, and I have a little language lesson to do, some budget figures to put in, and again, crawl into bed as soon as I think isn't too early.

 

The 'what is this, falafel?' chickpea loaf I made and brought to work with me four days in a row

although this was a very similar process to the black bean meatloaf - it did not act at all the same when stirred up - the rice flour is a very different texture than the whole wheat flour, and the chickpeas had a thick flavored sauce with them instead of the black bean aqua faba 

 

1/2 can of seasoned chickpeas, ground up

about 5 tablespoons of cooked carrot, ground up - this is less than what was in the black bean loaf

more of the orange beef seasoning packet

1 egg

1/2 package of saltine crackers, crumbled and smashed

a few tablespoons to a 1/4 cup of brown rice flour

about a tablespoon of bacon grease heated in the bottom of the pan before spreading the mixture in it

cooked at 400 degrees for 20-30 minutes, uncovered in a glass pan and then brought it down to 350, when the top of the crust started to get brown, I removed it from the oven and covered it with aluminum foil for a while until I could cut it up and put it in another container.   I wondered if I should have put another egg in it, but then it firmed up really well after it cooled.

 

also made some zucchini soup with two kinds of zucchini, kielbasa and bacon  

 

I found a new seasoning mix that says it has toasted onion and red bell pepper flakes in it, with chili pepper flakes - it is quite good.  I had to look at a couple of places in order to find it - after someone had brought some to work for a grill out. 

The other night I dreamt of blueberry pizza, with spinach, cheese and I drove a block away to a pizza shop to ask them for a cup of tomato sauce to put on it - as it had all blueberry sauce on it instead.  I poured it on right there at the counter and they told me the pizza box would be all soggy - so I started to eat it right there.  I have no idea what that is about except that I did buy blueberries that day after a long time of thinking about them.  In honor of this strange cooking dream, I opened spinach last night and had it with some blueberries and the last of the 'falafel' chickpea loaf. 

neurodivergent cooking : wheat flour and acorn squash edition

 I bought a bag of whole wheat flour last August - and have finally used it up and bought another.  I scored some pad thai sauce and another acorn type squash at the same time.  I've been eating a lot of acorn squash, as well.  I cook with what I have - and the leftovers of cans that I opened for one thing in the fridge get used to make the next recipe etc.  We've saved some bacon grease recently and I've used a bit of it here and there instead of butter or oil.

 

 Neurodivergent cooking : wheat flour and acorn squash edition

 

Simple Whole Wheat pancake / flatbread

1 cup whole wheat flour 

some salt and garlic parmesan seasoning mixed through the flour 

2 large eggs (we have chickens, so I use all the eggs I can)

a splash of milk to make the right consistency of pancake batter

 

butter and heat a small pan

cook in two to four portions to make flatbread pancakes.

simple - easy, when they begin to bubble up and the edges are firm, flip them over, and store them in a glass container for a few days to eat with soup and sauces.

 

The excellent encuacadora sauce : (full of peanuts) 

1 large guajillo chile, with seeds, stem discarded, torn up 

five spice powder (cinnamon, garlic, cloves, ginger, black pepper) 

bit balsamic vinegar

bit of brown sugar (optional)

bit plus a bit of olive oil 

honey roasted peanuts, a few tablespoons or so, ground up

frozen chopped onion, to equal peanuts, ground up 

1/2 small can of tomato paste

1/2 small can of tomato sauce

heat that all up together and mix through blender well at end

 

 black bean 'meatloaf'  I've been thinking about doing this for a good while, but I didn't want to fry it in oil - so I finally got my thoughts together today with the rest of my cooked carrot in the fridge and put it together - it was really good, and both of my dogs wanted me to give them the entire second half (which I didn't - I put it away for later) :) 

1/2 can of black beans - put in the grinder

a few tablespoons, 3 to 4, of cooked canned carrot

1/2 a stack of saltine crackers, crushed up

spices (I used al pastor seasoning and brown mustard and some orange/beef seasoning)

extra black pepper

1 large egg

whole wheat flour to make the proper consistency

1 tablespoon of bacon grease mixed throughout

spoon into a greased ceramic pan and make a smooth top  

cook uncovered at 350 degrees for 20 to 30 minutes (I used our toaster oven) 

 

 

use a small brush to put olive oil on the orange parts of the squash

acorn squash and rice congee (this was SO good I couldn't believe it was easy)

roast, mash and store acorn squash (cut open, scrape out seeds, cut into pieces, brush them with olive oil and roast at 350 to 400 degrees until a fork goes in nicely, let cool a bit, scrape squash from rind with a spoon and store in a glass container)

add cooked rice to acorn squash in 1 to .5 quantities, add a raw egg, cook over medium heat or in a microwave stirring often until egg is completely cooked, add a bit of soy sauce and mayonnaise on either side of the dish to eat if you wish 

 

rutabaga and carrot soup with kielbasa, fresh garlic and onion

chopped and cut up a rutabaga  boiled with kielbasa and onions and some bland summer squash for body - blended that and it was still a bit thin and watery - then I read that carrots are an excellent addition to 'swede' rutabaga soup, so I used the second half of the batch with 2 cloves of fresh garlic and 1/2 a can of cooked carrot - brought that to a boil and then blended that together - and that was so much better!  Still not as good as the turnip soup the other day - but still pretty good.

Cooking lots of things

 

omelet with bacon and spinach/whole wheat flour / egg mixture fried in the bacon grease

I had another half of the spinach mixture that I fried separately in butter and it turned out much more cohesive - pan difference, I think.  All of them tasted wonderful, but I also think I needed the nutrients and that is why I was drawn to cook it.  The cans of spinach had sat in the cupboard for nearly a year without me getting into them...

1/2 can of spinach (I put the other half in the fridge with the liquid in that)

1 large egg, beaten

I don't know - less than a 1/4 cup of whole wheat flour, it is supposed to be oats in the original recipe but I'm using what I have 

cook 1 slice of chopped bacon on low to medium until bits are crispy - keep all that oil  

cook 1 more egg as an omelet in a separate pan, in tandem that you can add the bacon in at the end (start bacon, gauge when is right, make omelet, add bacon keeping the oil in the other pan)

form large spoon fulls of the spinach mixture and place in the hot oil to cook, turn over, cook until well done.

but : I found that greasing the omelet pan with butter after the omelet was finished and then putting the other half of the spinach egg mixture in that in a layer made a much better finished product - so, have to try that again.  the bacon grease one was all fluffy and dry, but the butter one was a pancake like structure all smooth on both sides.

 

the lasagna without noodles

And today I am using the sweet potato tomato soup (below), the whole wheat pancake (also below) layered in a pan with this other half of the spinach omelet, mashed sweet potato layer and some mozzarella cheese to make a 'lasagna' - put in the toaster oven in a glass pan at 300 degrees.  1/2 pancake, 1/2 omelet laid on top of that, covered in mashed sweet potato, covered in mozarella cheese, other 1/2 of pancake, pour tomato sweet potato soup over it all to drench well and sit in bottom of pan - bake

 

sweet potato and tomato soup that I made yesterday and saved some of.  With the rest of the wheat flour/rice flour pancakes.

chunks of cooked sweet potato

half a can of 'chili fixings' tomato mixture - with onions, garlic and spices but no beans

a handful of onion

a handful of yellow squash, previously cut up and frozen

some 'orange beef stir-fry' seasoning packet that had orange peel and citrus in it and smelled very interesting - about a tablespoon of that

black pepper

water

cook until well-combined and bubbling, let cool just a bit, use the stick mixer to smooth into a consistency 

 

I have some whole wheat flour that is in the freezer, and some brown rice flour, and I've been using both of them up.  This is three eggs well beaten with whole wheat flour added to it, some brown rice flour (much less, just to smooth it out a little) some baking powder and salt, and a little garlic-parmesan grill mixture (I think it has some texturizer in it, because it does things to eggs when cooked with them.. and it tastes good).  Made three tamagoyaki pan sized pancakes with it.  Mark looked at the batter and said he didn't think that would cook up - but I buttered the tamagoyaki pan (a small Japanese omelet pan) and put it on as an even layer, turned it over when I saw bubbles and a nice edge around it, and it cooked up wonderfully.

was this a black plum or a nectarine?  they are related, so it is hard to tell.  It tasted like a VERY mild slightly harder nectarine.  Mark says it doesn't matter - I saw it, I took it home and ate it, so that is all that mattered.

 

 

Update on the teeth : Not where they should be yet, but I'm still wearing them every day and it only hurts a little now to put them in and take them out, but I don't want to wear them much longer than 14 hours or so because my lips and tongue just get irritated - but I missed my fitting appointment because of the holiday - the office cancelled and tried to move it up a few days earlier, but I got this sinus ick and just put it off now until after Thanksgiving.

 

Sinus ick : It's been annoying, especially in the morning after I wake up - but I'm getting throught it.  An allergy medication helped a lot for the first bit but now I'm letting it flow more to get rid of it.  I can smell everything even through it - which is a bit odd - it feels like my sense of smell is cranked UP with this even though it is making it hard to breathe through my nose.  I'm eating good foods and keeping down on the milk and sugar because I know those things make it worse.

 

Languages : studying French and Czech and a little Japanese here and there.  Reading more Japanese cooking things, and watching a lot of little French videos 

 

bits with vegetables, or fruits

 

 

 

 

We spent three hours at the DMV this morning, but now we have a permit holder and a renewed driver's license in the house.  We'd been trying to get those done for months.  We stopped and did the shopping on the way home and I got fruits/vegetables to prepare.  Ate half the avocado with lots of spice and bread, and then cut up the others to use in soups.

 

It is now 5:30 pm and it feels like night.  It is full dark out, as goes November.  I have already been giving in and going to sleep about 7:30 pm lately because of the temperature - and because I need the sleep.  The healing situation with my oral surgery has done quite well, except in that one place where I think the tooth shard might be.  My next check-up is next week.   Yesterday was the first day in all that time I hadn't taken any pain medication (ibuprofen) at all, although I still hissed like a cat when I took the teeth out at night.  That part still feels like pulling off skin each time - but it isn't, because when I rinse it out there isn't any blood or etc.  It's just that sensitive.  And I note that I'm still 'grinding my teeth' some in my sleep, but since there aren't teeth on the top, I woke myself up biting hard with a bottom tooth into the top gum in one place.

 

I dug a frozen chopped apple out of the fridge, and put it with some split peas, kielbasa, some of the yellow squash and onions in a pot to make soup this afternoon.  I still have some pumpkin, onion and chili-bean soup in the fridge from yesterday.  I can eat softened bread and cookies soaked in coffee with the dentures in, but nothing really hard, because of that spot with the potential tooth bit hurts a lot, then the plate slips.  I haven't lost a lot of weight, even though I've been eating less quantity - probably eating a bit more condensed calories in the soups?  Considering it's winter, that is good, as I really need what I've got to stay warm.  It's all doing fairly well, considering these little bits and my tendency towards inflammation with hEDS.  I didn't know how it was going to be at all in specific, which is why I am writing it down now as I go.

 

dental surgery soup recipes continue: 

 

1 small red delicious apple (I had cut up and put in a freezer container three months ago)

2 cups of water or more 

a half cup of green split peas, washed

a handful of onions

a few pieces of kielbasa

a bit of butter 

a handful of chopped yellow squash

spices 

 cooked until everything was soft and then pureed with a stick mixer.

 

 1/2 can of pumpkin puree

1/2 can of chili beans

handful or more of onions

bit of shredded pork (Mark was heating it up for him and Esme)

lots of spice

lots of hot madras curry powder (specifically)

some butter

2 cups of water

cooked until everything was soft and then pureed with a stick mixer.

 

Last night I dreamt that I had to leave my old mail truck on a long road by a little town - after working a full shift at the hardware store (where the computer system in the dream was absolutely not realistic and I found it eyebrow-raising) and driving out in a little dark blue car I don't have at all trying to go find my truck - and I knew where it was but it didn't make any sense, because it was a right-hand drive and it was parked on the right side of the road right up against a guardrail. I could see it in my mind's eye in the dream - and was driving along waiting to see it, knowing I'd have to turn around and come back and get it.  

 

I was supposed to go back and get in it and drive off, to avoid someone following me from the store.  But then when I got there - the plan was jacked and it was a trap - there were five trucks there and none of them were mine, all on the same basic model plan - red, gold or white, but all left- hand drives and none of them were even the same make - which I told the person in the dream that tried to catch my arm and ask which one was mine.  None of them, mine was a 'X'.  And I pulled away and ran further down the road towards the town, looking behind me all the way, although no one seemed to be following.  Then I walked a bit further into town and went to their post office, and asked them if they had seen a truck parked there.  The two ladies there told me my truck was out back, that the postmaster had had it reported to them and towed it there waiting for the owner to show up, but I didn't get that far to actually see it, as I couldn't find the actual door into the post office the door to the left said 'city hall' and the window said 'post office' and I was wondering if I would have to walk all the way around the building.  At that point, my alarm was going off.

 

 I've had a few of the 'remember this number/ address' type dreams, as well - but the info doesn't really mean anything when I wake up.  They told me it was my phone number, no it wasn't and I wouldn't actually say my number in the dream, although I wrote down the one they told me.  Addresses, same thing.  I run through routes and mail cases (in the post offices) in my dream that I haven't seen before - I can remember it when I wake up but can't remember the exact names and numbers, although they were all there when I was running them and trying to match up packages.  /sigh - like my brain thinks it doesn't have enough to do when I'm getting some sleep *ha

 

Studying Czech, French and Spanish.  Have laid the Japanese aside for a little bit, and haven't studied the Lithuanian vocabulary while I've been awake (although I played it in my sleep, too). 

bits

 We took hours insulating the washing machine wall the other day - but it got done.  Esme had to test a lot of her measuring and cutting skills - and we had to keep pressing through until every step was done the way Mark wanted it done.  I smashed one hand a little on something (still can't remember what) and cut myself with the utility knife, but only a little bit.  Mark always says if you don't bleed on a project (jokingly/sarcasm) it wasn't done right.  I was a bit hangry and really wanted to just be done with it - but he kept finding more details for us to do in each layer before proceeding.   I had come home from the postal route and was making soup in the other room in tandem.  It was good soup - turnip, with zucchini, onions and kielbasa.  I made some lentil with pork fat and red bell pepper today, but the turnip soup still won out as much better.  Mark was making a pork roast for him and Esme - I ate about a tablespoon of that with an avocado for dinner.  It is going to get below freezing tonight, and we've gotten the elderly mama cat in - she slept on my lap while we watched StarGate.  

 I haven't run the little car all week, but will have to see what happens tomorrow after work.  We have run the suv and it was doing well.  We did a major animal feed run in it and got the propane bottles refilled.   I am not going to try to take the little car to work tomorrow as I don't need the anxiety of not getting there in time.  That is a big reason we needed another car that was more reliable, but I can't just let the other one sit all the time either, as it needs to be run for it's battery etc.

 I've been trying to deal with the teeth all week and done a fairly good job.  I'm still grinding most things or making them into blended soup - and bread and cookies that have been soaked thoroughly in coffee.  I've mashed up bananas and peaches.  I've still worn the teeth every single day, and I'm down to just a few painkillers a day (ibuprofen), mostly before I put them in the morning and just before I take them out at night.  I'm fearing there might be a tooth shard in that one place that still hurts so much. Once in a while when the plate slips a little trying to bite something, I can feel a hard bit slide on the plate there - and it would be pretty severe if that was my jaw bone doing that in just that one place - but a bit of tooth shard makes a lot of sense.  That would explain things, including a slight swelling just above it that has not went down.  

Why am I not running into the dentist and asking them to x-ray now that I've thought of that?  Because me and my stupid pain tolerance - it isn't quite so bad that I know something is wrong, but it's annoying.  And to me, what is annoying, is probably their 'what can you give me to get it to go away'... like Spock raising an eyebrow in mild annoyance at somebody rushing him with a sword.  I spent an entire summer with a fracture from falling out of a treehouse, because my mom didn't think it could possibly actually be an injury, because I only cried a little right afterward.  At the ER after another injury, the nurse wasn't sure I could possibly be injured because I was laughing uncontrollably - then she saw the x-ray - that one required a splint.  I held a gushing wound closed on a finger cut down to the bone from my house all the way to the clinic and the doctor there could not believe what he saw when I finally took my hand off it - 'have you been holding that shut the entire time since it happened?' Of course I have.  Why wouldn't you?  Then he gave me ten stitches with lots of superglue over them and a splint on that so I wouldn't move it while it healed.  There is still a long white scar on that finger that if someone looks closely at they stop and ask 'what the hell happened there'.  I have another check-up for the dental in a few weeks, but I will keep in mind that there might be something there that needs to be looked at.

My nose DID stop hurting, finally - after being an added torment to the other mouth pain for almost all of the past two weeks.  I can now do the 'bunny rabbit nose' thing without a shooting pain, and the mobility of my upper lip has also returned, which you don't really realize how much that is used in talking, drinking and eating until you have about half-capacity in it (or none) and that still hurts when I move it a lot, but mostly around that spot I think the tooth shard might be under the plate.

 Most of the rest is going well.  I spent several hours today reading a silly book.

When I brought the turnip in from the store, Esme and Mark looked at it and asked 'what IS it?'  I was surprised - the lady at the store was young, and she knew what it was.  I said: 'C'mon people, it has purple on it, it's a turnip!'  Mark said 'Those don't turnip around here often'  *groan*  I had to try to tell Esme as much as I know about the differences between turnips, rutabagas, and everything else.  Info-dumped on her and I know she understands that is just how mom is *ha*  I cut it open and had her smell it, too, as she likes the smell of onions.  I told her I couldn't explain it but that, to me, it smelled something between an apple, an onion and maybe a radish.  The soup turned out excellent, but I couldn't convince her to try it.  Especially not when Mark had pizza to offer.  It will be a good while before I can eat pizza, or even a peanut butter and jelly sandwich without a knife and a fork (but I did do that today, and did succeed).

The turnip soup:

1 turnip, about 1.2 lbs. according to the grocery receipt, washed, peeled and diced

in enough water to cover in a big pot

added a tablespoon or so of olive oil

salt, black pepper, rosemary garlic seasoning

let that boil on medium for at least an hour

added some zucchini, onions and kielbasa from the freezer

let that boil a bit longer, maybe another forty minutes

removed from heat, then blended smooth

poured up in a clean glass jar

 

It is sweeter than potato soup, and has less of that 'mealy grainy' taste that potato soup sometimes has.

 I've been studying mostly Czech, Welsh and Spanish the past few days.  The Czech is in review mode, the Spanish is normal and the Welsh is in super-hard 'Am I going to use this vocabulary? mode'.  I haven't done too much with the to do list, but I did remember to do a few of the things that I had on it, like take the garbage up, and do some laundry things.

 

bits

 bits, without the caps lock on...  still making soup and trying to get things done.  I had my check up appointment for the denture plate and they adjusted it a little - said I'm doing good to have worn them every single day, despite the pain.  

Studying Romanian, Lithuanian, Japanese and did a Spanish lesson today as that was on my to do list for Wednesdays.  I need to water the plants upstairs - as I didn't do it this week at all, so far.  We also need to get animal feeds and propane one day soon.  We will have a bit of a warm spell this week and then on Sunday it will drop to below freezing - so I have to get that washing machine pipe insulated, as well.  We normally turn the valves off when it gets that cold - but that was when they were still insulated in the wall, and during the break and repair, we pulled out all the insulation that had gotten wet.

 So, drab things but they need to be done.

 Today was an absolute mile-a-minute at work - and I could have used to have been twins, since they wanted me in the office to be present during interviews and also I needed to be on the warehouse floor readying orders - so I had to switch off as much as possible to get it all done.

Esme had a good birthday yesterday - I promised not to embarrass her or take pictures -  she had chosen a big kangaroo-pocket hoodie and asked for some game credits.  I found a Minecraft toy she had picked up at the store one time we were shopping and bought one to bring home - it is a fluffy bee, and almost a ball.  I brought her some of the cakes she likes and ice cream.  I also had gotten her an investment bond earlier last month that I had put money away for slowly - not at all big, but as an 18th-birthday something that will be for the future gift, besides the common items.  We can't 'give' her a car, as she can't drive yet!

 

My dinner: I still can't eat hard things or things that require too much 'motion' - because the jaw and gums are still healing underneath this hard plastic plate.  If I soak bread in soup or a cookie in coffee in small pieces I can eat it on the back side of a bottom tooth and the plate without 'rocking' the plate painfully, most of the time.  I am also smashing up bananas, canned peaches and mandarin oranges for fruit and fiber.

Soup :

1/2 can of pureed great northern beans with the aqua faba

 zucchini, red bell pepper

a few chunks of sweet potato

water

olive oil

spicy italian seasoning

 

served with bread, and a rice flour omelet

1 egg beaten, 1 tsp of sugar, 1/4 cup or so of rice flour (brown rice flour in this case), salt, bit of baking powder, some spice mixture, fry in butter in tamagaoyaki pan and serve with a big spoon of peanut butter 

 Mark made pork chop and garlic bread and some of the same sweet potato for him and Esme.  I really am not going to chance the pork chop - tried just a little bit of well cut up hamburger the other night and it was sticking in my throat so I gave it up.   

 Every night I am making about a 3/4 cup of whole milk with strong madras curry powder in it, heated up until it all combines well.  And I am drinking that as the last thing before bed.

The 'beaver moon' was out this morning - and it was large like a coin on the horizon, just a few inches above a field on my turn out towards work - with a little strip of cloud right across the middle of it, so it seemed like Saturn, or a closed eyelid.  It is still large in the sky tonight but it is already waning gibbous. 

 

more bits

 Did the postal route today, missed the rain.  It has turned quite cold out.  The teeth still hurt to put in and to take out - and my health checkup to see where they are rubbing or cutting is on Tuesday.   I'm still taking the ibuprofen and the antibiotics.

 

We shopped yesterday and I got several more zucchinis and a red pepper - made this soup:

 

some water, less than 2 cups 

1 tbsp of olive oil 

1 smaller potato left from last bag

big handful of fresh cut zucchini

small handful of the chopped red pepper

frozen chopped onions

part of the black bean puree I still had from the other soups

the last 1/3 of the small container of tomato paste

black pepper, garlic Parmesan seasoning and paprika

 That had to boil a very long time because of the potato 

used the stick blender to grind it up

have made three bowls of soup out of it and used it as a spread over an omelet as well

 

I have a lot more of the zucchini, onions and peppers in the freezer to make more soups, and bought two more cans of the beans and chickpeas that I have been using.  Mark and Esme ate baked potato and pork chop but I really can't eat the meat yet unless I cut it up miniscule - the egg omelet was good for that for me. 

Headed for bed - I took the teeth out at 6 or 7 pm last night after a very hard day and quite a bit of 'bite' in one place that I wanted relief from.  Putting them in HURT, but I put face wash all over my face and let them settle in while I focused on washing my face - and by that point, it was almost bearable.  I took them out a bit after 8 tonight, and have to get back up at 11:30 to take the antibiotic.  The goal is to keep them in until 10 or 10:30 but right now I can't sleep through the night, either.

 

 

bits

thoughts : I'm very grateful to have the new teeth - I've worked hard over the past six months to go through all the stages required to get to this point, because with hEDS I do not heal well and have had to go slower than most people do.  They do look good when I have them in and function, although I have to relearn how to talk properly as well.  But that doesn't discount that they hurt like * to get used to and I'm going to have to use a lot of ibuprofen and willpower to get through these first few weeks. I have a fairly high pain tolerance all told, so I'm letting myself be honest that yes, this hurts.  This hurts a lot in ways I wasn't quite expecting.  My nose still hurts and taking the teeth out and putting them back in both hurt like fire for a few minutes, and then I can tolerate it.  Warm liquids, especially coffee brewed with ginger licorice tea in it, help a lot.  I am used to taking one or two ibuprofen a day when I'm actually hurting with other hEDS stuff (knees, etc.) - and now I am taking one or two every four to six hours.  I can't have any other type of painkiller, or more accurately, I can't chemically process any other type of painkiller so it doesn't make sense to take any other kind.  

I'm also on an antibiotic the dentist gave me, but I waited a day or so to start it - and I probably shouldn't have.  One of the dentists (two worked on me) told me to hold off since I had two rounds of the same antibiotic in two other months - and I can see some in that advice but the day before last I woke up after sleeping a few hours feeling like a dog that ate a wasp - the whole front of my face hurt - and I made some soup and started with the antibiotics.

 

I'm also so glad I can cook and adapt recipes to still get the food that I need to eat in a form I can eat it //as I make black bean soup with zucchini, onions, tomato paste and every spice my instincts tell me to eat.  And right now - my instincts are telling me to eat anti-inflammatories and anthrocyanins.  I can do that - my food chopper and stick blender are helping a lot with that - good thing I was sort of doing those things with my bad teeth before - but whoa, having 'bad' teeth was still better than having raw holes where teeth used to be, that you then stick a hard unforgiving and rubbing plastic plate over for 12 to 16 hours every day before the holes have even healed up (part of the process).  

My mother went through this 20 years ago and she stopped wearing her teeth - and I knew it was hard, and she wasn't good with pain, but it severely impacted her health not being able to eat (and she wouldn't eat as many vegetables or spices as I do, plus had diabetes).  She didn't get the nutrition she needed and got much sicker because of it.  So I'm really using my willpower.  This morning getting out of bed on time was a bit tougher (I'm still working full time plus) - and knowing I would be putting those teeth in, with all the pain that makes my eyes water, and I did it anyway.  Taking them out tonight hurt just about as much as getting them to settle in this morning... and having the warm spiced liquid available to wash over them helped so much.

 

tonight's 'let's eat some good protein and fiber' soup mix: this one has the added benefit of having anthrocyanins in the black beans, which helps against inflammation and with pain relief (and actually does work like that for me)

 

1 can of black beans with aqua fava, ground in a processor

1/3 of a small can of tomato paste

1 tbsp of butter

some water 

1 large handful of frozen zucchini

1 handful of frozen onions

black pepper, brown mustard seed, some 'sicilian' seasoning, some 'al pastor' taco seasoning, some 'chinese five spice' seasoning, paprika, garlic, cocoa powder - the al pastor seasoning had guajilio chile powder in it, which I also use for the anthrocyanins, and the Sicilian seasoning was mostly tomato and garlic but it was running too low.  The five spice powder had cloves and cinnamon in it.

heat that all up to boiling, then cool it down some and run my stick blender through it until all the zucchini and onions are blended

eat with a frozen biscuit 

 

the other day:

1/2 can of tuscan flavored chickpeas (some name brand mix)

1/3 of a small can of tomato paste

some water 

1 tbsp of butter

1/2 of a large cube of chicken bouillon  

1 handful of frozen zucchini

1 handful of frozen orange bell pepper 

1 handful of frozen onions

I think I put only some black pepper in that one - because the tuscan flavored chickpeas were actually well spiced 

 

Languages: I'm actually catching up on Romanian, and haven't even done any French or Japanese this week at all - what is that about? I can't spell very well in Romanian at all... and moreso when I've been lax on keeping up with it.  So, I'm doing fairly well considering that.  I have let my to do list go to the wind until I get myself back together.  I need to take Esme out and let her pick out another birthday present one of these nights after work, she mentioned a coat and she needs to try them on. 

 

dental work

 

They took out the six teeth this morning, my face felt like it was hardly there - but I can definitely feel this plastic dental appliance (top denture plate) they have put in, and I can feel that my upper jaw is still bleeding some.  I hate that - because I do bleed a lot compared to most people.  They told me the plate should act 'like a bandaid' and make it stop bleeding over the course of the day - but it's been about twelve hours and I've come to the conclusion that is once again, a 'most people' thing and I'm not built like most people.  With hEDS, everything is just a little different when it comes to anything that has collagen in it, like skin, blood vessels, gums etc etc..  Gah.

 

I was able to eat some soup and finally figured out how to drink coffee without losing much of it.  But I still feel like I've been punched in the nose, too - because of all the needles and numbing they had done to the roof of my mouth.  Earlier, I told Mark I would feel so much better already if my NOSE didn't hurt - right at the bottom of each nostril probably where it was getting extra support from the rigidity of the teeth?  I don't know - but I hope that settles down because that is going to be tough.  Not as tough as the fact that my sinuses also drain down almost exactly where the dental plate extends in the back of my mouth.  

 

So, yes, the teeth look nice.  They'd look nicer without blood still seeping in my mouth.  They told me I had to keep the plate in until the next morning, and then remove it and rinse out the blood and put it back in.  That is going to be smashing.   My face still looks like I got half beat up but without the bruising.  There is a certain puffiness to it - and part of that might be because there are 'teeth' there to fill the cheekbones out there.  And I've taken three Advil over the course of twelve hours - yes, three total pills - (because I cannot have / cannot process chemically the other painkillers they normally would provide) since they pulled them out and all except the nose and one spot on the front tooth area the Advil are taking care of the rest.   I slept for about four hours, but the oversalivation and gag factor are still there, although not quite as bad as it could have been.

 

 I sat down with colored pencils and meant to just start drawing colors - in the way that I do, but it turned into one of these 'my nerves are melting' drawings and I let it, as the novacaine was still pulsing through my face and I couldn't feel my lips at that point.  Perhaps there is something there to pay attention to after a bit.  That blue line going down with the diamonds was a strange one.  Yes, the whole thing is strange.  The electricity had also gone out for an hour just after we got home and I only had cold coffee on top of all of that - so drawing helped sort things out for a bit until the power came back on.

I don't know why but I switched from French and Spanish to Romanian today and did the Lithuanian lesson as well.  

I'm supposed to be back at work in the morning here and am not looking forward to pulling that plate out and seeing the blood and the state of the jaw with the teeth missing.   

Bits with bite

 Tomorrow I go in to the dentist for the last of those procedures - and that will take another week to heal from.  I've been preparing for it in some ways and ignoring it totally in others.  That's the way of it.

Studying French, Spanish and some Japanese.  Went out to deliver postal packages today (Sunday) and it was way out in the middle of nowhere, not my usual route, and it was raining cats and dogs.  The car kept fogging up, and there are no street signs where there should be street signs - so you can't really tell if what you're turning on is the tiny little road in the middle of three miles that you hope it is.

 Took mother-in-law out for groceries, and got a few other things  We need to insulate the washing machine for the upcoming freeze, she says her pups have chewed the insulation off some of her pipes.  I need to get her dental appointments, too - but it is hard when I am the one who can drive and I needed to finish mine up (which Mark is driving me home from, but he has a tough time driving alone now).  He had a hard time getting to the DMV last month and because of bureaucracy they didn't even let him or Esme get anything done there and they have to go back another day... which we have to arrange for, again.

The budget worked out for the month, but I'm hoping the sky will stay up for next month, as it goes.  It has already started to get cold, the older animals are having a harder time and I need to make sure we have feed for the next few months, and keep propane for Mark's heater.

I'm off of work tomorrow and back Tuesday. 

I've bought a slightly unripe peach, baked it with butter and sugar, and pulverized it, to have over biscuits and egg for my dinner tonight.  Mark says I will find out just how much I chew when there is nothing there but the denture to chew with - and that the next week will be hard. 

some thoughtful bits

 Some days I feel like I'm going to get up without my skeleton, or vice-versa... all clicky and things are not quite right and connected. My knee and ankle have been doing that 'why are you holding your joint like this it h U R TSSS' slow burn to major stabbing pain episodes and then I move them and everything is fine but somehow I end up moving them back into that same position out of habit and the pain wells back up.  Getting through it, though.  We've been researching more about the college stuff, as well - and getting at least one application in.  Timelines, gah. School starts back and then leaning hard on the math program as well - and hope she continues to cooperate with that, because it is required to graduate.

 

 my spider plant at work has grown a lot since last December

 

The weather has just now turned cold, after a major rainstorm, after a week of being dry.  Mark hates the cold, and it will become harder for him to do anything outside his heat zone after a bit.  And I've examined the to-do list phenomenon a bit more.  

 

If : I need to do something every week and my trouble is kicking myself in the tail that day to do that thing THEN.  The to-do list has about an 85% chance of helping make sure that gets done.

If: I would like to be reminded every few days about something hit-or-miss, like watering houseplants, and the to-do list can do that and/or be forwarded a day (which it can) if it doesn't quite need yet to be done that week on that day.. the to-do list has about a 90% chance of helping.

If : I remember earlier or later in the day and am no longer at the place the thing needs to be done at - the to-do list has a 95-100% chance of helping me remember it when I am at the place again.. at least, remembering there was something I put on the to-do list without having to remember what I was thinking about earlier that made me think about that thing and then what it was. 

BUT : If 'it would be great if I would keep up with this extracurricular thing or good-intentioned habit (like drinking extra water or cleaning) every few days,week and putting it on the list will keep me from forgetting about it' -- ech, maybe about 50% chance of helping?  I get annoyed with that because it isn't a required thing and it isn't something that I'm seeing a good benefit from, yet... and then I struggle against the past me that thought it was such a good idea to put it on the list and then have it pop back up and 'look at me' every day on this app.

AND : The app is annoying me because when it does it's notifications it sounds like a text message,and when I am not supposed to be getting text messages, at night or driving etc... it annoys me to stop and pick up the phone and look and 'haha, it wasn't a text, it is your to do list (or a language app, similar issues) it just made you LOOK'... and I don't see anywhere that I can change the notification sound to something other than my text notification sound - and changing my text notification sound to something else has resulted in me ignoring it entirely - so .. *GLUM* what to do about that?  not a lot... the system is working within parameters but it could be better

 

Making rice for the lunches the next few days, doing laundry, staring at a lot of other things, listening to the wind and the rain storms outside.  Budget will come to forefront again this week as I am paying the end of the month bills.  We have done good getting through half the month spending only half the estimated amount for the food budget.  That will probably change as well after this week - because it's cold, and because I went myself for just the things on the list the other day instead of everyone coming with me.  

Then the week after that they finally finish my denture and have extractions to finish that out.  Then the week after that - Esme's birthday.

 French, Lithuanian, Spanish, Japanese - a bit of math.

I worked on a few more chapters of a cat book I had been working on, and did two illustrations. 

Lunch of a few tablespoons of rice, tamagoyaki style rolled egg omelet (with biryani masala spices in it) and those zesty chili beans, and a good couple of tablespoons of sweet non-dill relish.  I told myself to use a real plate, even though it was enough I could have used a little saucer to hold it.

the rice: as usual

1 cup washed rice, this week it is mahatma enriched long grain white, although in the past it has been natural brown rice that the other store sells ... matter of time and I'll probably get the other again

put that in 2 cups of water (more for brown rice), bit of pulverized brown mustard seed, olive oil drop, bit salt and bit rice wine vinegar, bring to boil, bring down to low, cover, stir occasionally, turn off at the end and prepare

2 tablespoons or less of white sugar, rice wine vinegar and white sesame seeds

place the sugar in center of the HOT rice, pour just enough rice wine vinegar to wet the sugar, and then stir like mad - daughter says it kind of looks like rice pudding when I'm doing this - and then mix in the white sesame seeds, put up in a clear glass container with a sprinkle of salt over the top, let cool on the counter for 20 minutes or so, place in fridge and use within 3 days 

 

 I found some of the basic drawing pencils that were eluding me - I could have sworn I looked in those crochet hooks multiple times and had not seen them.  Still missing the key pencil in each set, the 4H.  Sat down and drew for a bit while the sunlight was nice upstairs.

  

 

 

Ca vi, Ca va

 How do I light a fire under the creative cauldron and get things moving that I have let sit on the shelf so long while I tried to focus on other things and was too tired after those things had been done?  Is it a losing battle?  The other things are much more important and yet there are moments where I am not able to do them yet in time - and I do not use those moments well and what do I miss.

 Studied French today and a little Spanish, and did the math rapid-fire modules.  It is easy to say I will kick my own tail and move forward but it is still a bit like screaming into the void.

 Ca vi, ca va, que sera sera etc.  And yet, it will be something different if I dig my shovel in and do some more of the work.  I can't do much of other people's work for them when they don't want to do it or it isn't time yet for it - but I keep ignoring my own, too because what.. it doesn't feel as important, because I set it for myself and it is 'art' etc... I have such a strange relationship with time. 

les morceaux

 The little car did what  it should today, and I got the tires looked at by someone who knew what they were doing.  Mark and Esme got their errand ran in the other newer car.  Esme cleaned a lot out of the garage and they took some items to the local dump - although they were not able to get the bureaucratic things done at the driver's services because of timing and forms.  

Same happened at work today, as a young truck driver could not get his act together and get me the proper documents to unload him, and he went off to go get them and come back, and his broker told me all of the documents were there - (and sent me electronic copies as well) but the driver then got lost and did not come back before we closed.  So, he will have to be unloaded tomorrow.  The broker was NOT happy about it all - as the driver didn't even get to our business until after noon, and he had been scheduled to arrive before eight a.m.  Ga ca vi ca va ce n'est pas ca vi (basically meaning, that's not the best way to do it, said while shaking your head sadly) the way they are going to do it is not the way it is to be done

I've studied French and Japanese today, and made it to the middle of the second math module on the new math program on Duolingo, mostly in between waiting on hold on the phone or for a reply from a broker on the email.  

I'm thinking about books and what I have and have not read - been thinking for a few weeks on it, but read another article today that got me thinking more. 

 I had gotten some shampoo for damaged hair about a week ago and it has been helping some - and another trial item came in the mail today.  We'll see if that helps more.  I made more rice for lunches this week, after making some yesterday and using it tonight in our dinner of pork fried rice.  I need to go work on my Japanese on Wani Kani before I take myself off to bed. 

 The pork fried rice sauce (again):

1 tbsp brown sugar in about a cup and a half of water in a big pan

some olive oil, about a quarter size spot

some soy sauce (and then some more, as the vinegar was a bit much)

splash balsamic vinegar  (not too much)

bit salt

bit brown mustard seed that had been pulverized

bit prepared brown mustard from a jar in the fridge

pork seasoning spice that includes garlic and ginger and paprika

bring that all to a boiling

add green onions, orange bell pepper, some white onion and a handful of other vegetables out of a frozen veggie pack

add pulled pork that Mark had made yesterday

bring back to full sizzle

make hole in center and add three eggs from our chickens - let whites cook a bit then mix the whole thing up

add rice to the outside edge from fridge - and then stir it all together and cover, let steam until rice is warmed through

serve 

  

monday the thirteenth

 Ended up a bit sideways in a ditch this afternoon, but the mechanic pulled the little car out, and everything seems to be working okay.  I was checking it out to make sure it was going to run okay for Mark to use the newer car this week for errands and I would drive the little car to work and back - but it had been doing a few odd things on the way back from the post office on Saturday, that made me worry the battery would be worn down.  So we were giving it a good run after not having used it most of the week, but it was a very bad corner.  It could have been much worse - pulling the car out was a bit dangerous position to be in but it pulled out easy and seemed to be just cosmetic if anything.  Studying French and Japanese today, made rice to bring to work tomorrow.  I'm thinking a day off on the to do app is okay, the dog can get washed another day.

bits of

  

It is starting to get cold at night, and that means rounding up the animals.  Cold is only about 50 degrees right now, but you can feel the bite to it, so it's still cold.  Two of our animals are getting quite old, and I worry about them both - the little sixteen year old cat Minion with hardly any meat on her bones and the old hound, Minerva, who must be eleven now.  The little cat came in (with one of the younger ones, and Charlotte, the younger dog).  But Minerva did not come in, in fact- I saw and heard her as she ran up the road bellowing at some deer or fox... and usually that means she will come barking back at the door between 2 am and 3 am, and I will get up and let her in.  I don't sleep well anyway, and I guess this all works out.  In the winter, I definitely don't sleep knowing someone is out in the freezing temperatures - I want them in and I know they'll be alive etc.

 So, I was a bit worried when Minerva did not show up in the morning.  She had not barked at the door that I had heard, and she was not curled up in the leaves by the porch where she had been before she ran off barking.  I fed the chickens, and changed all the trough and bowl waters outside, and even walked up to the mailbox and back.  I picked a good big sheaf of lespedeza, which has went to brown seed, and brought it back to the chickens.  Charlotte and Minion had both congregated by the water trough, and did a loop about the little garden area with me - but no indication of Minerva.

We got ready to go out to our  grocery shopping, and I really would have liked her in by then.  But she wasn't.  I was quite quiet while we were out, because I was hoping to see her when we got home and trying not to worry so much - but I do, I am the worrier.  We got back from our grocery shopping, and put everything away, and she finally did show up.  I was relieved - just like I had pictured myself being if I went up there before we went to the store and she had been there.  We gave her some bread and she said one of her teeth hurt.  After I tore it up into smaller bits, she ate it - and then she wanted back outside.

 I made some soup for myself, and have pulled some of the frozen cabbage out of the freezer.  Mark said his brain bounced when he asked me what I wanted with hamburger and I said maybe I could use a little bit of it in a dish with that.  I think I'll use some of my guajillio chiles with it.  I just don't digest hamburger as easily as he does - and even worse in the past few years.  We are Jack Sprat and his wife - he can't handle the grease in it, and I can handle the grease much better than I can handle the meat itself.  Give me split peas or lentils or beans or eggs for my protein - peanut butter, a big dollop of butter, mixed with a bunch of rice and some fruit or bananas - and I've got a good diet working.  

Someone who lives in Barcelona visited the other day at work - and I really had to just refrain myself because I could have went full ADHD explosion with questions and comments and I felt imposter syndrome from learning different languages - and I didn't know her, my boss did  - and it was better really that I just went back to my office.  I really am interested in Barcelona, and the Catalan language, and the areas near there Marseilles and Cote de Nice etc etc.. but the question 'why?' I can't really answer - because I saw it in a dream, and then in our driving game, and each time I see the language Catalan) it feels like I can handle it so much better than Spanish, through the French side of my brain - but I haven't had a good chance to hear it etc.  She didn't speak Catalan she spoke English, Spanish and Portuguese, or maybe I would have actually asked her a few more questions. 

but I play one on tv

 Agh, dealing with some imposter syndrome with the to do list - because my usual form of 'organized' does not live up to this version, and yet I'm the one doing it - and keeping up with the trash and the laundry even out of the dryer, and watering the houseplants and getting the dog food and all of the things... but it feels like I'm not an organized person (not like this) I just play one on tv, and there will come a day here where I don't want to do the list and I'll say 'see, I told you so.'  

And yet, I'm the one arguing with myself to open that list and do the things on it, as well.  They're not all bad!  They're things that need to be done!  You haven't even looked!  ADHD type tendencies, and I've fought them in different more organic-feeling ways for a long time.  

I even remembered to buy postage stamps today - even though I hadn't put them on the list.  I just THOUGHT about putting them on the list, but didn't want to 'commit' to it... because I keep forgetting it when I'm at the place and time (my postal route office) where I should be buying it.  But today I left the office and was headed to the second half of my route and made myself turn right back around *eep* and go into the front of the office and buy stamps.  After more than a month of saying 'It will have to be next week now, since the office closes at noon'... I'm not sure how to feel about that.  I did it, but it isn't a victory.  It's sort of a 'that really doesn't sound like you, you sure it was you?' moment.  I didn't really feel like me doing it, either.

I've thought about what I'll accept for the 'clean one thing' and still arguing that - yesterday I just dusted a shelf and I wasn't sure if that was legit.   What good is telling yourself to do something if you allow yourself to cheat at it - but then that is the basis of most weight loss goals and habit-breakers, right?  More to think on there, too.

Some processing to happen there.  I have to think about it.  It's good that I'm getting the things done.  They need to be done.  I just don't feel like it's exactly me doing it - but sort of one-and-a-half time travelling me, telling me to do it, arguing with present me about what future me will feel about this.  And future me is really confused.  Maybe I'm not looking far enough ahead - maybe that future me already got through this part.  I'm planning the budget out past next March as well, and this present me really hopes that I'm getting things right.  Anxiety is sort of spread around to all of those things.

 

I made the rice flour omelet again today - and the recipe wasn't that far off from my 'instinct' recipe the other night.  It's a great way to use up eggs, since our chickens lay about five to eight every single day and there are just the three of us.  I give away a lot at work, but still I want to have them used up in good ways.  Same with the rice flour -  I have that whole bag of brown rice flour in the freezer that needs to be eaten, and I'm the only one to eat it.

 

3 eggs, beaten with 1 tablespoon of white sugar, bit of salt, and then 1/2 cup of brown rice flour beaten into that.  Let it sit for a minute.  Heat up about a 2 to 3 inch circle of peanut oil in a large pan.  I used too small of a pan the other day.  Hold the pan up and let the oil drift over the entire inner surface - then toss a droplet of water in.  When the water crackles, I beat the egg mixture again and poured it into the pan.  When the center began to puff up a little I used the turner and turned the whole 'pancake'/'omelet' over.  Last time it was very messy, this time it was pretty good.  I let the entire omelet cook a bit more and then put it on a plate, with peanut butter and red chili paste.  It wasn't too sweet this time - last time I put more sugar than that in it and a bit of honey on top of it as it cooked - and didn't measure the rice flour.

 

Went further in the Duolingo math, but still did French and need to do the Japanese review today.  I caught up with my WaniKani reviews finally...  

 

Discussion with Esme the other day - I've said this before but I told her it again - it is wherever you go, there you are - but expanded to explain that means you're the one that is there, and there are things that you need to do, and you're the one that is there to get you to do them - no one else is there 100% of the time with you to remind you or push you, so the important thing is YOU - you've got to find that thing inside yourself (your will) to carry with you all the time, to do the things, because then you know they will get done when they need to.  

bits

 It's been a harder past couple of days with anxiety, but I'm keeping it on the leash mostly.  I made a big pillow on my sewing machine and brought it to work so I can sit in the middle of the room on break for a few minutes and that helped the other day (sans pillow) and a bit today, as well.  I'm actually doing really well on everything - my hEDS is being tolerable, just knee and hip and etc. but things pop back where they should be - our budget is tight but it looks like it will work out if I can just get everybody to stay on board.  So, there isn't any real 'reason' for the anxiety, like usual actually,  but as I told Esme sometimes none of that matters and it is just a brain chemical / hormone thing that you have to stand outside of yourself for a moment and say 'what is this going on?' and do the best you can with it.  I am trying to read less online news, because right now that really sucks it seems to be very doom-filled and I've brought a book to read instead.

 

We had a really good freshman psych- level talk about brain chemicals, dopamine and realizing your habits and goals from the 'outside' as well as from the inside with the body chemicals sometimes training you without you intending them to.  Esme brought up school students she knows that have some issues with this and also with anger responses to not getting their dopamine ie: no phone or video game or etc.  She's paying attention.  I told her often you have to outsmart yourself on those things - train yourself to the good things, like maybe a language or a todo list or congratulating yourself for a good grade etc. but also to be on the watch for other people because you can't control what they do etc. 

 

Studying Spanish, Lithuanian, French, Japanese and Catalan.  And I started the Spanish lesson before the anxiety set in.  I also started the Duolingo Math path today and it was interesting.  I tried the Chess thing a few weeks ago, and found it juvenile at first - but might try it again after a bit.

 

Tried to make rice flour omelet last night, and put a bit too much sugar in it.  I'll try it again tomorrow - having some rice with oily fish tonight while everyone else has hamburgers.  Postal route tomorrow, and the mornings are getting colder.  This week was the first return to automatic savings in my 401K as well. 

Nac ydy.... ydw rwan

 The to do list is working, although a bit ... what is the best word for it... reluctantly?  reticence?  skeptical?  I can sit here and think I'm not gonna do it, etc.. and then there's a good chance somewhere I will get the spark I need and get up and go get it done.  All except typing up that story - so far.  Nac ydw (no I'm not), ydw rwan (yes now)

I even added 'drink one extra cup of water' to the list today, and 'clean one thing' - both to repeat daily.  We'll see how THAT goes.  *peer hard at self*  After cutting all of my split ends off the other day I picked up a new shampoo, and am working on the damage in my hair.  And I cleaned the back shelf of the bathtub all around - in addition to washing the floor towels and rugs.  Have studied Lithuanian and French and Japanese - and done kanji every night - except tonight - which I need to go kick myself into gear.

 Made some ground mustard seed two days ago and have been putting it in our meals and on top of my rice at lunch with some ground cashews that were sitting in a container unused for more than a month.   Made a rice-noodle stir fry tonight with vegetables out of the freezer and eggs, and Mark had made some ground beef and gave us a portion of it to put into it.  That was quite good.  I didn't use the tomato I have set aside for tonight - but that is something I will forward to tomorrow or cut and freeze.

 The budget is something I am being more strict on after two unexpected purchases already this month - one a car registration that came due and the other something that is now earmarked as a birthday present for two months from now for Mark, but he had to pounce on to get it now.  *small sigh*  But I am trying hard and our grocery run the other day was reserved.

OK, off to do the little budget work I need to do and my kanji, and put the clothes in the dryer before bed. 

bits

 Study Lithuanian, then do my Wani Kani kanji at some time today.  I did a good amount of French last night when I was up and couldn't sleep - and started another floor rug for something to do with my hands.  Esme has her next math module to do.  I made her do one Friday and gave her a break yesterday, but both are due tomorrow.

We went to town early this morning and picked up some essential groceries.  I know I'm being tight with the budget, but with getting the car loan last month and the insurance it is my instinct to reel in as much as I can until we really know what we have for several months in a row - plus, winter is coming, and that is always more expensive. Esme is a bit worried with the tight budget, but she knows why I am doing it.  I wish I could solve her anxiety on it, as I am basically doing it to lessen my own anxiety.  That is an odd combination.  Now, we are not out of anything that anyone needs in the house, but I didn't buy many extras, either.  I've actually been working at using up some of the extra, or at least things in the cupboard that weren't being actively used but could be.

Washed the bedding and made some rice for lunches the next few days.  Washed Charlotte, as well.  There are two very pretty tomatoes that were green when they were given to me on Thursday, but have reddened up nicely.   I chopped up one of the other ones and put it in a container in the freezer, which I often add to stir fry type dishes.  I put the larger tomato and a lot of other vegetables together with some sausage from the freezer and served it with mashed potatoes from the last ones at the bottom of the box that needed to be used up.

I took my hair shears and trimmed about two inches off of my hair - been thinking about doing that for a week or more now.  Now Esme's math is done and I have a bit more language to do, make the bed, put up the rice, and fall asleep, hoping to sleep a bit more than last night. 

to-do or not to-do

 Well, the new to-do list application really shows what I'm willing to put myself to task to, and what I'm much more likely to swipe to the next day.  I even went out and washed the windshield of the car because I had put it on my list earlier in the week.  That is one of those things I just don't do because by the time I think of it, I am far from the place and then when I am at the place, I don't think of it.  I did the laundry, AND got it into the dryer AND folded it and put it away.  I watered the plants.  I made rice one day and then finished it all up in different meals.  I did the budget entries and analysis, without putting them in the to-do-list, but remembered I should do them because I looked at the to-do-list and asked myself what I was missing.  I did all the language lessons - even the kanji lessons that I had been ignoring for a while.  

 However, I did not retype the short story that was written on paper in the tiny font.  Yea, have to think on that one again.  I actually forwarded it yesterday, and then today, decided it is probably not getting done anytime soon even if it is on the list.   It is a bit like being an anthropologist studying myself.

So, French, Japanese and Lithuanian today, and the postal route of course.   

Sliding towards the weekend

 I've done a lot on my to do list - and tomorrow is the postal route.  I've done Lithuanian, French, Greek and Japanese on my language lessons, with a good healthy dose of Kanji.  Esme was doing compound interest equations in her math, and that took a while, but she got done.  And then we went and compared her two choices for college, again, and looked at the program curriculum.  I wish my hours weren't quite as rigid - but she has a school break coming up and with the little car working (at the moment) maybe her dad can take her to do a few things that can only be done during regular business hours - driver's license test and visiting the nearby schools.

 

I did put on my list to retype my Amelia story - but I didn't get around to that.  I kick myself that I didn't send it to myself in an email instead of writing it out longhand on a piece of paper.  I have the paper, but I was using a small hand that day and now I have to get a good light to read it.

 

Can I use this to do list app to get myself to do more of my writing?  I've done several more of the 'outside' languages lately because of it.  They only take a few minutes each to keep me up to practice, but I often don't get around to them.  Czech and Romanian, especially, my spelling gets awful the longer I am away from it.  I didn't do any Welsh today.  I found a trial lesson of Lithuanian beyond the vocabulary lessons I've been doing - and tried that.  I don't know what algorithm I had fallen afoul of the past week - that had hundreds of 'people' (probably ai crawler visits) reading these notes and random, but have broken out of it now!

moving along...bits

 Almost everyone is over the sinus ick - which is good, it was getting tiresome mostly because it would gather up while I slept.  Esme is now passing her math class, and we're looking harder at the college choices.  

 I'm working on French, Japanese and spatterings of Lithuanian, Greek, Korean and started a Welsh review.  I finished the Italian section I was in but haven't started the next.  A lot of the names in the little Minetest world  I had been working in lately turned out to be Italian.  I need to study much more about financial planning stuff - the bits we learned last year were a good start.

 Getting things done at work, car doing what it should, budget doing what it should - so far.   I fixed a hose in the yard, and finally got the license plate for the car.   I had a squash out of my garden and finished crocheting that little kitchen rug.  Chopped up a bunch of peppers and tomatoes from someone else's garden - they brought a bag into work for me :)  It was so nice!  I bring eggs often from our chickens because we just don't eat them all.

 patty pan 'white scallop' squash

 

I was starting to try a to-do app.  I am often somewhere entirely different than the place that I remember I should do something at - and those are the things that too often get forgotten.  So now I've put several of those in the app while I am at work and when I get home, I can start to work through the things without having to try to 'place' the thought because location-based memory is really important to me.  I can sit here and maybe not think of that thing I thought of when I was there - until I am there again!  I can feel the taste of the idea, but can't actually pull it up into solid form.  It's usually with things that are low importance anyway, like throwing something in the washing machine, making rice for the next day's lunch or fixing a hose etc... but I'll try the app and see if it can help with that. 

 

One of the things I had put in the app was to 'make rice maybe' - and I did finally do that tonight, and even made two nice filled onigiri to take to work tomorrow, with red curry paste and seaweed and sesame seeds.  I haven't made them in a while because the kind of rice at the store by my work was different, and I hadn't been to the other store to pick up the kind I normally use.  I had bought the other rice - but I just hadn't gotten myself around to adapting to use it until tonight I had it on the app to look at and say yea... ok, yea.