I did some cleaning today - laundry, sweeping, sorting papers, scrubbing, pulling trash cans and changing bedding and rugs and dog blankets. It all has been needing to be done in more than the little scraps of time I had put to it when necessary the past few months. I watered the plants - which I have done when they needed it yes, but maybe not as often as they actually preferred.
At times I felt like I wasn't sure what I should be doing with myself, since I'm used to having 'no time' - which Mark reminded me doesn't mean I have no time, just none I allot to that. Same with the little car's brake fluid - I would have done that today, but that would have been three days not doing it - waiting to have 'enough brain' to extend beyond the queue of items I already have been doing on rote to get the jobs done etc. Yes, it's something to work on, but no, 'just do it' isn't always a good answer for it. Today I did each of the tasks in pieces, and then did something else (game, coffee, language lessons) and then returned to the tasks and eventually got a lot done.
I do have a way that works, it is just annoying in general to others and
I can't do it sometimes, I have to push it around and space it out into
intervals to make it seem like a bunch of smaller tasks. I 'tell myself' that if I had tried to take it all at one whack and then did the leisure items I don't think I would have gotten as far. It's part of that 'yes it doesn't make sense to you' but I've lived in this brain and this is how it ACTUALLY works, vs. how it looks like it should work. *shrug* That is something like an ADHD thing. Mark says I can just 'tell myself' something else. Not really. When that huge brakes-dragging-the-whole-train feeling is there, that is all I can say about it. Do I get it done the way I know I can, or keep failing trying to take it 'head on like a normal person' Me, not normal... so, option one and be productive in the zig-zaggy ADHD way that actually accomplishes something. The biggest problem with those scraps of time earlier in the months was that was all the scraps I had willpower for, among everything else I was doing, and when I reached the critical mass point where I went to do something else it always ended up being bedtime or worktime or town-run-time etc.. and I never got back to doing more of the tasks than was necessary.
It's Christmas Eve. I've done French and Italian (I had bopped onto Italian for a practice session yesterday and then it was already loaded when I came to do my Catalan.) I stared hard at a Japanese program that I haven't made time for in months and was offering a good deal on a subscription - but I decided to not do that. I listened to a full Christmas album on another site in French, which was pretty neat.
Tomorrow is Christmas. We have a meal planned and time to open presents. I will take myself off to bed here in a little bit and see how much sleep I get. I had set the alarm forward to 'maximum chicken time' - 7:45 am.. and didn't get to sleep all the way to that. I had been up for two hours in the night - which was the only reason I was able to sleep past five. I don't really want to move my schedule though - I will need to be up early again all for the next week. So, I will try to get to bed early tonight and see how that fares.
We watched several episodes of Crossing Jordan first season. The episode I was looking for was 'Miracles and Wonders', which in our sequence is marked as number 12 - it is officially episode 13 of the first season. I always like that one for how things weave together.
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