Fish Dreams

I've always had 'fish dreams' - where the fish are dying, or the water is running out etc... and I can't do anything about it. They always upset me, and in college I had a good friend finally analyze them (she later got a PhD in psychology). She suggested the fish were my hopes for the future - and that the dreams were a sign I was feeling a loss of control and inability to protect those hopes from outside forces. Eriu hit that nail on the head, in my opinion.

I don't get the fish dreams as much anymore, but I still look hard at them when they do appear. I'll always remember a beautiful fish dream, the first where they weren't in danger, and didn't die - and that was after I had made my decision to come here with Mark. Tanks covering an entire room, full of beautiful goldfish, and he was standing there talking to my stepfather. Neither of them knew each other yet, and that dream made a very powerful image. Someday, I'd like to put that image into a painting.

Last night I dreamt Mark and I were moving fish from one tank to another - but the second tank had carnivorous fish in it, and they wouldn't be safe there. We were talking about setting up a third tank (we have been, in real life, as well - it's on the porch), but it wasn't set up yet and we already had four fish that really did need to come out of the first tank. I ended up putting them in a small jar while we kept talking about what would be a better place for them. Again though, they didn't die - they were just in a holding area, waiting to see what we would do with them.


'Expansion of the Universe' (birth of a child)
artwork Oct 21, 2007 11 pm
I hadn't done one of my random-line drawings in a while now, and last night seemed like the time. Some of you might find the above drawing a little explicit - but hopefully not, as the symbols are pretty obscure and hard to distinguish from one another in general. To me it's explicit - but in a good way. It talks about our baby being born soon, and about the growth, life and responsibility coming from that event.

KnitOwl in Progress

Piece of 02/08 drawing (5 pm)
I really like the symbol on the rabbit's shoulder (gold figure).
It is a combination of 'universe', 'life', 'motion/turning', 'thoughts' and both the female and male indicators that usually appear on the heads of other creatures/figures.


Wool yarn that came in the mail
same colours as my dream bags, oddly...


A little knitting in between computer reboots


More progress on the dream bag weaving
I 'turned back' early, perhaps the front of the bag will have top to bottom symmetry and the back will be a different pattern altogether? A lot of things are different in my life now, so thinking that the symmetry of my dream bag can be what it wants to be as well...
Had a strange dream early this morning.. saw
'UNTIMEDNESS *NCOUNTERS THE TIMEDNESS'
written on some old stones in a wall before entering a hidden tunnel. The * was a missing/broken area - not sure if that word means 'uncounters' or 'encounters.' My subconscious doesn't spell very well (or use proper grammar, apparently.. untimedness? *heh*) - and actual written words appearing in dreams are rare for me. There was also a bad part in the dream, a warning, about my brother -- called my mom to get more information. He is still holding off an important doctor's appointment and subconsciously I'm worried about it enough to scare myself.

I've started a few other projects as well - redrawing my softie patterns from scratch, and the last alien order. Thanks for the suggestions on the name for the skeleton - any more? Maybe one will 'stick' to him - well... not much is sticking to him now at all ;o)

Dream Bag Weaving, old and new

The weaving for the dream bag is continuing along. Here it is compared with the old (and well-used) dream bag, that usually resides under my pillow, so as to lie just under my ear as I sleep.



So, what is in a dream bag? It would be different for every person. I put in special items that I feel are important. My items are symbols representing links to certain people, qualities and structures that are either important to who I am, or to what I am seeking to dream about. Some items stay in the bag for years, while others come in and out depending on the topics most important to me at the current time.

I think dreams are important, especially 'strong' dreams. When I have those 'pay attention - you're here IN this dream and things are happening around you in real-time' lucid-type dreams, I do pay attention - and see what they might be telling me. Sometimes I get an idea of what is important, or wrong, or needing attention in my waking life - that I have been forgetting or trying to avoid. I view the whole dream experience as a subconscious experiment - another way of gathering and sorting information with my subconscious. (For those of you who have read a little bit about my ink art - you will see this connection in their purpose, as well.) The dreams are rich in symbolism and often 'wacky' in their structure -- but usually upon waking I have a 'Oh Wow' moment - where I understand what my brain was saying and what I need to do with this information while I am awake.

So, do I really think this bag, or the things inside it, makes a difference? In other words, why do this? I think, at the very least, it helps make a focus point, putting things together in my mind just before I sleep that carry over, psychologically, into the 'dream world' of my subconscious. I have a very visual mind, as well, so making a visual symbol with attached meanings helps me personally, to carry over, better than simply thinking 'I want to dream about X.'