Le Vide?

 Saw that the French nickname for this part of the year is the void (le vide) and yes, I've experienced the 'what day is this anyway' already.  Because, two days off is something I just don't get anymore, much less two days off, two days on, and another day off!  So I woke Friday night and had no idea what was going on or what I should be doing Saturday morning.  Even though I do the postal route every Saturday.  What is this.. Saturday?  What is time?  Where am I, even?

Enough of that.  Studying a lot more Latvian, using bern istaba and tuta lietas, ba ba dum and baltoslav.  I often forget the names of those things and can only remember the flavor - so I post here what they are so I can look it up again later.  I love Tuta's style - and my daughter just recently noticed the hats.  Why does she have an airplane in her hair?  So I had to explain it to her.  

One of the most useful things towards learning is to have the subtitles on in Latvian, stop it, open up a second window, try to type the word I saw (without peeking) and then find out the translation of it.  I have to remember the word and remember what was said about the word, find out the translation, then try to relate it back to what I heard - quickly, and then maybe replay the sentence or wait until the next time they say the word again with better knowledge of it.  It is very real learning.  When I am playing baltoslav in Latvian, after studying a lot on ba ba dum in Lithuanian, I stop and three-point-translate the words that are different, like 'pillow' is different in Latvian and Lithuanian (a lot of words are almost the same, too) and recognize what the word is in English, Latvian and Lithuanian all at once to make contact points between the languages.  I can feel 'brain burn' during this, like when I started learning Catalan (in Spanish).  It actually feels great :)

I studied Greek on the other platform, and have been improving my Spanish to French score on the third platform.  That contributes perhaps, to 'le vide'.

Other than that we are eating leftovers, and I am trying to clean a thing here or there.  There is always laundry.  I say I won't take down the Christmas tree until after January 5th, but most years I am still forgetting to take it down come April.  

I've planned to go out and spend a gift certificate that was gotten on the postal route from one of my residents.  We don't often go out to restaurants at all, and there is some social anxiety about it.  I talked to E about the social anxiety (and I had a lot of it yesterday morning after giving a gift back to that resident in return, and all the social 'did I do that right' etc. insecurities about that kept me beating myself up for two hours or more) and told her it really helped when my dad finally told me that he did that too.  

The biggest thing is you always feel it was silly and didn't matter that much after it - but when you're inside it, and you can't break out from it, it feels even worse to tell yourself it is silly, it doesn't feel silly.  The only thing that helps, as my dad also said, was to 'plow through' it - do other things that need to be done, find something like a book or music to distract you for a moment - and eventually the 'reverberation' of the anxiety will die down some.  THEN, after it did ease up a little, THEN remind yourself that you made it through to this point, that it feels silly but only after the fact, and that life goes on and things need to be done.  You're the person that is there to do them, and then go do them.

As I said on another site : Some days I have to remind myself that it is okay to have difficulty with being a singular entity inexplicably residing in a corporeal form that is adherent to the laws of space and time.  Other days, I have to just admit that I am (anxious / impatient / annoyed / frustrated) and get myself up and do some chores.

 

Christmas Day

 We put together some 3D printed toys Mark had downloaded and printed.

 

Mark made a roast beef cut and potatoes, and we had the pears that I had made yesterday with pudding.  It was a good dinner, and over by 3:30 pm, and everyone opened their gifts.  Esme and Mark got clothing they needed and snacks and Grandma got some snacks and a blanket and socks.  Esme bought Mark a blanket, as well.  I gave Esme a talking penguin toy, a star projector and we all played a card game that I had bought.  I got coffee and spices and socks.  Mark had found more guajilio chiles for me at the store, which I knew they had according to the website but couldn't find them IN the store.  I also considered buying three plus pounds of pears and the gouda cheese as part of my Christmas gift 'splurging' on food that I wanted. 

 Grandma watched a few shows with us, and then I brought her back home. 

 I have work tomorrow and Saturday.  Studying Greek mostly today, and some Catalan.

 

another of the spice mixes I had in my Christmas presents, with pumpkin seeds, a bag of caramel coffee, seaweed snacks and pistachio pudding :)

 

 

Christmas Eve, 9 years with the green owl

 

Oh, I've still studied twenty plus languages, but these are the top tier and I keep at them on Duolingo... not including Latvian and Lithuanian, which are not on 'the green owl'.. but I'd love it if they were added.  I had made a phone profile to force myself to do more Spanish learning (and Catalan, in Spanish) when I was not at home, so I haven't had that for the full 9 years, more like 3?  I often play the 'all languages' version on Ba Ba Dum.  It throws curveballs at me in Albanian and Greek and Turkish and Chinese etc- which I don't have as much practice in beyond basics, as well as the languages I am studying more - and it shows that my Romanian and Spanish vocabularies are very lacking, my Japanese needs work, my Czech is better than expected, and my Lithuanian and French are the best there. It is one of the two places I can practice the Lithuanian, and the other place is BaltoSlav, which has the Latvian to practice.

 It's Christmas Eve, it is 70 degrees out nearly (I am happy about that) and I'm cooking pears in butter and ginger vanilla sauce.  I'll make a cake tomorrow for it maybe.  Mark has another roast to put in the oven with beef broth and rice for tomorrow.  We will bring Grandma down for an early dinner, as she likes to eat early.

1 qt jar of water, mixed with white sugar, vanilla, a few tablespoons of butter and good powdered ginger.  Brown sugar put over the peeled and halved pears with seeds scooped out.  Heat up the quart jar mixture in microwave, pour over the pan of brown sugared pears, then put in oven at 275 (because Mark had a roast in there already) for a few hours, turning every ten to fifteen minutes.  Save all the liquid - it is excellent syrup!

 I even had to go get some more pears - because they are good.  The greenish ones I've put in the freezer for making something else, after washing and cutting them up into chunks.  I bought some gouda cheese to go with it, and more mozzarella which we usually have.

 

The Christmas Tree is ready, with a few things for everyone under it.

I caught up on the Greek and Japanese today, after doing Catalan and Romanian for much of the week.  Now to do some laundry and cleaning.  Mark said the chickens were checking their wristwatches this morning as I had slept in, but I said no they were checking their 'roost watches'.  
 

 I had asked for some spices this year - and this one was one I didn't put under the tree.  Someone had brought it to work for a cookout months ago and I've been looking to see what store around here carried it ever since.  It is excellent with avocado, just as a topping!

a few photos

 

goat out in the fenced in yard on a very cold morning

she is peeking out from behind the tree 

two dogs out there, too - but you can't see them laying down in the sun in the leaves

an elephant flower pot Mark made on his 3D printer, but he wasn't sure it would hold up to soil and water.  I'm not sure what else to use it for, but it is cute.  That is a tote bag I am crocheting in the background in the box

seared pork with lots of spices on it, and some zucchini added at the end, if I use a sharp knife and cut the meat up into shreds, I can eat it.  The zucchini wasn't quite done enough to mash, but I was able to eat some of it.

 

another picture of the same little goat from about a month ago, she is totally blind in one eye and can see some light in the other, she wasn't supposed to live past a few months old - they didn't think she could get past weaning onto solid food etc.. but she is over four years old now
 

Our unconventional Christmas tree, because when we had the hvac installed this summer the stand went missing and we cannot find it.  Didn't let it stop us - Mark and Esme both said 'Australian Christmas' without hearing the other one say it.  This is the same little tree and ornaments we have had forever, and it is on a switch so I can turn it off at night.

 

entras intrarea

 Cold, working through the anxiety and the dentures still hurt here and there.  I'm making sure to cook things I can eat - but so often I just want to get dinner done so I can take the teeth out, huddle in warm, and sleep for the rest of the night.  I am eating a good variety of vegetables, and making cake/loaf like mixtures to make sure there is something easy to bring with me to work.  I made a batch of peanut butter cookies, as well, which bears repeating.  I actually do have to work at having enough calories during the day.

 Took Grandma's little dog to the vet and got it spayed - and held it for a few days, to make sure healing was doing good.  Esme went to her college orientation session, and she had to do a few more things before next month.  She is trying hard to keep her math grade up because that is what her graduation hinges on.  

 Last week I had pulled my shoulder out badly somehow on the postal route - probably actually know the mailbox that did it - one of those that is too low and on the edge of a large ditch, so there is no doing it except pulling close and then leaning out the window awkwardly.  I did exercises but was still quite annoyed by it for two days - then one morning it just went 'click' again like a bungee cord being drug over another one, and it felt much better. I was worried it would be injured further by getting our propane cylinders, which we have to refill every few days and are very heavy and awkward.  So far, I haven't done anything worse to it taking those in and out of the car, but I'm aware of it.

 Doing Romanian lessons on both systems, somehow segued to that and I've kept at it.  We haven't went Christmas shopping yet, and I haven't put up the tree yet.  I did buy a few things for Esme last week that I need to wrap up - bought the roll of wrapping paper today.  It is going to be severe cold tonight - so we had put some insulation on Grandma's hydrant and ran the little car around a bit to make sure it has had a good charge.  I have hardly even been running it around the block much, because there is just too much going on and there are only so many hours in the day.  I ran it a good distance tonight.  Now dinner is in the oven, and I have a little language lesson to do, some budget figures to put in, and again, crawl into bed as soon as I think isn't too early.

 

The 'what is this, falafel?' chickpea loaf I made and brought to work with me four days in a row

although this was a very similar process to the black bean meatloaf - it did not act at all the same when stirred up - the rice flour is a very different texture than the whole wheat flour, and the chickpeas had a thick flavored sauce with them instead of the black bean aqua faba 

 

1/2 can of seasoned chickpeas, ground up

about 5 tablespoons of cooked carrot, ground up - this is less than what was in the black bean loaf

more of the orange beef seasoning packet

1 egg

1/2 package of saltine crackers, crumbled and smashed

a few tablespoons to a 1/4 cup of brown rice flour

about a tablespoon of bacon grease heated in the bottom of the pan before spreading the mixture in it

cooked at 400 degrees for 20-30 minutes, uncovered in a glass pan and then brought it down to 350, when the top of the crust started to get brown, I removed it from the oven and covered it with aluminum foil for a while until I could cut it up and put it in another container.   I wondered if I should have put another egg in it, but then it firmed up really well after it cooled.

 

also made some zucchini soup with two kinds of zucchini, kielbasa and bacon  

 

I found a new seasoning mix that says it has toasted onion and red bell pepper flakes in it, with chili pepper flakes - it is quite good.  I had to look at a couple of places in order to find it - after someone had brought some to work for a grill out. 

The other night I dreamt of blueberry pizza, with spinach, cheese and I drove a block away to a pizza shop to ask them for a cup of tomato sauce to put on it - as it had all blueberry sauce on it instead.  I poured it on right there at the counter and they told me the pizza box would be all soggy - so I started to eat it right there.  I have no idea what that is about except that I did buy blueberries that day after a long time of thinking about them.  In honor of this strange cooking dream, I opened spinach last night and had it with some blueberries and the last of the 'falafel' chickpea loaf. 

neurodivergent cooking : wheat flour and acorn squash edition

 I bought a bag of whole wheat flour last August - and have finally used it up and bought another.  I scored some pad thai sauce and another acorn type squash at the same time.  I've been eating a lot of acorn squash, as well.  I cook with what I have - and the leftovers of cans that I opened for one thing in the fridge get used to make the next recipe etc.  We've saved some bacon grease recently and I've used a bit of it here and there instead of butter or oil.

 

 Neurodivergent cooking : wheat flour and acorn squash edition

 

Simple Whole Wheat pancake / flatbread

1 cup whole wheat flour 

some salt and garlic parmesan seasoning mixed through the flour 

2 large eggs (we have chickens, so I use all the eggs I can)

a splash of milk to make the right consistency of pancake batter

 

butter and heat a small pan

cook in two to four portions to make flatbread pancakes.

simple - easy, when they begin to bubble up and the edges are firm, flip them over, and store them in a glass container for a few days to eat with soup and sauces.

 

The excellent encuacadora sauce : (full of peanuts) 

1 large guajillo chile, with seeds, stem discarded, torn up 

five spice powder (cinnamon, garlic, cloves, ginger, black pepper) 

bit balsamic vinegar

bit of brown sugar (optional)

bit plus a bit of olive oil 

honey roasted peanuts, a few tablespoons or so, ground up

frozen chopped onion, to equal peanuts, ground up 

1/2 small can of tomato paste

1/2 small can of tomato sauce

heat that all up together and mix through blender well at end

 

 black bean 'meatloaf'  I've been thinking about doing this for a good while, but I didn't want to fry it in oil - so I finally got my thoughts together today with the rest of my cooked carrot in the fridge and put it together - it was really good, and both of my dogs wanted me to give them the entire second half (which I didn't - I put it away for later) :) 

1/2 can of black beans - put in the grinder

a few tablespoons, 3 to 4, of cooked canned carrot

1/2 a stack of saltine crackers, crushed up

spices (I used al pastor seasoning and brown mustard and some orange/beef seasoning)

extra black pepper

1 large egg

whole wheat flour to make the proper consistency

1 tablespoon of bacon grease mixed throughout

spoon into a greased ceramic pan and make a smooth top  

cook uncovered at 350 degrees for 20 to 30 minutes (I used our toaster oven) 

 

 

use a small brush to put olive oil on the orange parts of the squash

acorn squash and rice congee (this was SO good I couldn't believe it was easy)

roast, mash and store acorn squash (cut open, scrape out seeds, cut into pieces, brush them with olive oil and roast at 350 to 400 degrees until a fork goes in nicely, let cool a bit, scrape squash from rind with a spoon and store in a glass container)

add cooked rice to acorn squash in 1 to .5 quantities, add a raw egg, cook over medium heat or in a microwave stirring often until egg is completely cooked, add a bit of soy sauce and mayonnaise on either side of the dish to eat if you wish 

 

rutabaga and carrot soup with kielbasa, fresh garlic and onion

chopped and cut up a rutabaga  boiled with kielbasa and onions and some bland summer squash for body - blended that and it was still a bit thin and watery - then I read that carrots are an excellent addition to 'swede' rutabaga soup, so I used the second half of the batch with 2 cloves of fresh garlic and 1/2 a can of cooked carrot - brought that to a boil and then blended that together - and that was so much better!  Still not as good as the turnip soup the other day - but still pretty good.